The Current Crisis: How Can You People Just Go On With Your Lives When VANILLAGATE IS BEING PERPETRATED IN THE WHITE HOUSE DINING ROOM EVEN AS WE SPEAK?

CNN: "YOU WILL BE MADE TO SHARE OUR PSYCHOSIS!"

From the Moscow Bureaus (and they're all Moscow Bureaus now, Mama!) of the #ProfessionalLiar Media comes the latest edition of "What Did He Do Wrong Today?". It's "All Wrong, All the Time" according to the Goldilocks Press Corps, always too hot or to cold, never just right.

In their fragile mental state, it's all the same: Syria strike? CRISIS! Ivanka's spring line? CRISIS! North Korea? CRISIS! Heroically Speaking Truth to the Dessert Entrée? CRISIS!



"The strawberries, that's...that's where we had Trump. Oh, they laughed at us and made jokes but we proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with...geometric logic...that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist!"

Like Donald's second scoop, the #CaptainQueeg Media is melting before our very eyes.

Couldn't happen to a nicer nest of News Molesters.