Enemas of the State
"Calling All Electric Cars, Calling All Electric Cars: Be on the lookout for Domestic Terrorists disguised as the majority of the country." |
FROM: Dept. of Homeland Security
TO: All Property of the State
RE: Your Unauthorized Opinions
Achtung, ReichSubjects,
It has come to our attention that some of you have engaged in Wrong-Think. And even Double-Plus Ungood Super-Secret Probation Wrong-Think.
By now, you have seen our list of Terrorist Threats. COVID and Election Fraud dissent are all we really care about. We just threw in 9/11 and Ramadan to give it a terrorist hook.
We therefore urge all right-thinking persons to inform on their spouses, family-members and random strangers for any deviations from the Official Deviancy(tm). We want the kind of Stool Pigeon State not seen since the release of "I Married a Communist" by Bill and Hillary Clinton.
Some of you haff already sent us tips of terror suspects saying outrageous things and blasphemies against the Received Wisdom(tm) of the State. We've compiled this list of Suspects. If you see them, do not try to apprehend yourself. Call Homeland at vunce, and we will stop what we're not doing at the border and the airports to come to your location and not do it there, either.
HOMELAND'S TEN MOST VANTED-LIST OF POTENTIAL TERRORISTS:
10.) Bill Gates. Mr. Gates has not violated any of our ever-shifting goalposts. However, we simply cannot abide his Mom- bowl-haircut. And he drinks poop-water.
Here, Person of Interest Gates washes down a Bug Burger and Fungus Fries after a 3-day Poop Water-bender |
9.) Kamala Harris of Willie's Love Shack, CA.. OFFENSE: Undermining Election Confidence.
“I actually held a demonstration…where we brought in folks who, before our eyes, hacked election machines.”
Ms. Harris is actually a double offender. OFFENSE: Interfering With COVID Protocols: ."...if Donald Trump tells us to take it, I'm not taking it."
CAUTION: This one is stupid enough to be dangerous.
Suspect Harris pledges allegiance to Woke-anda No known tattoos, but the Man-Hands are visible from space |
8.) Chris "Guido Fredo Frodo Goombah Paisan" Cuomo. OFFENSE: Interfering With COVID Protocols.
"Smell my exhaust!" Cuomo drives his Muscle Car to a meeting of Drag-Strip Groupies Against Global Warming |
Here, Terroristic Democrats badmouth our Infallible Dominion CheatWare(tm) voting machines.
"Rescind D.C. City-hood now!" |
If you recognize anyone in this photo, you have really good eyesight |
Here, the Speaker breaks into random businesses looking for ice cream and hair products |
Zuck: "But I do just want to make sure that I share some caution on this vaccine because we just don't know the long-term side effects of basically modifying people's DNA and RNA…basically the ability to produce those antibodies and whether that causes other mutations or other risks downstream." Fauci: "Well, Mark, what we do is build a vaccine first. Then we build a Super-Bug to market the vac...wait a minute--can people hear us?" |
"In caucus after caucus, Obama bused in supporters from out of state, intimidated elderly voters and women, and stole election packets so Hillary supporters couldn’t vote. Thanks to these and other strong-arm tactics, Obama won victories in all but one of the caucuses, even in states such as Maine where Hillary had been leading by double digits in the polls." |
Obama joins in with the kids' latest dance craze, "The Vineyard Super-Spreader" |
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