MNN Is BREAKING NEWS!

Manufactured News Network

Our cameras and mind-reading devices were there:

Obama: (Oh, shit, he’s gonna say something. He’s gonna give us all away. Why is it my turn to babysit, today of all days?)

Joe: “HEY, HADJI, OLD BUDDY! FIX ME A SLURPEE! IT'S 7-11 DAY! GO, TALIBAN! GO, TALIBAN! GO, TALIB…HEY, YOU--YEAH, YOU; HOW OLD ARE YOU, LITTLE GIRL?”

Jill: (This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This…)

Bill: (She’s old enough.)

Bloomberg: (She’s taller than me.)

Michelle: (She’s taller than Bloomberg.)

Hillary: *hic*

Bush: ***(crickets)***

Obama: "...GO TALIBAN! GO TALIBAN! GO TALIBAN!" (looks around) "I've wanted to do that all my life!"

Manufactured News Network: "At Least We Admit It!"