Depressing and demoralizing. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
"I have been getting the question “How does it feel to be vindicated?”
Dr. Jill (Glasspool-Malone) keeps noodling me to write a piece describing my feelings on this topic. Personally, I dislike focusing on the psychology of how these last two years have impacted on me (and us). Much as I am very wary of the “cult of personality” aspect of my newfound fame. I have not spoken out because I sought attention, I have done this because it was the right thing to do, and I seemed to have a unique window of opportunity to speak for those whose voices were so actively suppressed. But I certainly have had to take hits for it. The slander, defamation, gaslighting, and globally coordinated character assassination have been non-stop. But as time has gone by, and more and more has been revealed about the hidden hands that seek to manage what we are allowed to hear, see, and think, I have been transformed.
The biomedical world that I thought I was living in has been revealed to be a sham. The legitimacy of the industry and discipline that I have committed my entire professional life to is in shambles. I am now embarrassed to call myself a vaccines and biodefense expert, because the fundamental corruption inherent in those domains has been so clearly revealed. I cannot unsee what I have seen. I cannot recapture all of those years spent in a profoundly corrupt academic system, spent supporting a deeply compromised discipline which appears primarily driven by financial interests rather than by what I had naively believed was a commitment to saving lives. I chose to not pursue the careers of my father and father in law, which were spent building weapons of war. Only to find that I had inadvertently played a significant role in enabling one of the most tragic medical follies in the history of man.
When first asked how it feels to be vindicated, I did not know what to say. It feels a long, long way from vindication. Those directly responsible are unlikely to face any form of reckoning. And rather than remorse, they seem to find the whole thing amusing. The unnecessary lives lost, the destruction of faith in the public health enterprise, vaccines in general, the entire medical/hospital system, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and government in general. Ha ha. Oh well, not our fault. Just the way things are.
I looked inwards, deep into my heart and soul, and asked the question. How does it feel? Demoralizing and depressing. I experience absolutely no pleasure whatsoever in seeing my worst fears come to pass, and in having accurately predicted so many things during the last two years. Jill and I have put everything on the line. Parked our lives, our farm, our family, in a sustained effort to try to save lives and help average people understand what was going on, what the actual “Science” was, and to try to help people to think through the issues. Going back to ground zero, to try to enable “informed consent” in a time where that fundamental bedrock of medical ethics was thrown into the dumpster. We have experienced extraordinary efforts to delegitimize us, to re-write history, to deny us credit for intellectual and technical contributions, to slander and defame. They have destroyed the consulting business that we had built up together over decades. We have drained ourselves with the constant travel and stress of the speaking engagements. A constant stream of podcasts (up to nine per day) as a way to break through the wall of globally coordinated censorship and propaganda. I have been labeled a “right wing extremist” and “Nazi”.
Here is a little story about Santa Barbara. I left my job as a carpenter and attended Santa Barbara City College between 1980 and 1982, graduating with straight A’s as President of the Student Council. This was made possible in part by financial assistance from the Santa Barbara Foundation. When invited to come speak by Stand Up SB in Santa Barbara regarding COVID, I suggested it would be nice to do a fundraiser for the Santa Barbara Foundation. An opportunity to give back to the community and organization that had made my journey from carpenter and orchard farmhand to physician/scientist possible. Upon being contacted, the foundation decided that they did not want to receive any support from a far-right wing person such as myself. Et tu, Brute? This is an example of the price that has had to be paid.
And we would do it again in a heartbeat. Because it has been the right thing to do. And we found ourselves in a position where we had a chance to make a difference. We have made new friends all over the world. I now have a very different worldview than I had two years ago. I have no regrets. But I take no pleasure in the thing.".......
"If I were working as an analyst for the Russian government, paid to perform and enable risk assessment, I would be skeptical that the US DoD/DTRA effort was limited to just collecting and archiving biological samples, and I would have to conclude that there is significant risk that these facilities were involved in (at a minimum) “dual purpose” research. “Dual purpose” is a euphemism for “could be used to develop defensive capabilities or could be used to develop offensive capabilities”.
Clearly, whether in sincerity or for propaganda purposes (time will tell if they provide the documentation and receipts), the Russian government is stating that the activities of these laboratories included bioweapon research which was coordinated with US DoD/DTRA.
Prior to invasion of Ukraine, the government of Russia signaled that the presence of these DTRA-sponsored “biolabs” in this region was perceived as a threat to Russian national security and biosecurity. Again, if I were a Russian analyst, I would likely conclude that these laboratories represent a threat to national security."
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