MNN Breaking News UPDATE

Breaking Now...

Biden Offers to Fire His “Gang of Eight” Body Doubles to Make Room for Migrants at White House

Applicants must be willing to share shower facilities, however.

"I forget--which one is me?"

Vineyard Officials Consider Evicting Chris Christie to Make Room for Dozens of Illegal Migrants or Maybe Just Because It's Chris Christie

*(Oak Blunts, MA) After first remaining silent on the immigration controversy, Acting Shadow Brain Barack Obama inserted himself into the story yesterday by seizing the immigrants' jet to send another pallet of cash to Iran. 

"It's not ransom if you enjoy it," said the mob boss Ayatollah.

* In other Immigration News, Hungary is no longer a full democracy, says European Parliament.

“How can it be considered a democracy if they refuse to obey us at the EU or refuse to let in CIA/Soros NGOs to overthrow their government?” asked EU Spokesman Schick L. Gruber.

“They even refuse to let in millions of immigrants from the destitute, war-torn areas of Asia, Africa and Edgartown Yacht Club.”

Local Vineyard Man Offers to House Illegal Immigrants
Since It Was All His Big ******* Idea in the First Place

"I kid because I love!"

Locals Teach Newcomers the Dying Art of Lobster Fishing

Lara Logan: The UN discussed plans to move 100 million illegals into the US. (rumble.com)

THAT WAS QUICK:Buses Arrive
at Martha's Vineyard
 and DEPORT Illegals Off the Island:

“Hate Has No Home Here–and neither do you.
Now get on the bus.”

"It's Different When We Do it(tm)!

The immigrants were deported from the island today after 125 Massachusetts National Guard were deployed to defend the Vineyard's border, but not Texas'. The deportees were charged with Wearing on White People After Labor Day. 

Dukes County had welcomed the newcomers by declaring them a Hazard of Dukes and making sure they did not spend 48 hours on the island. The military has concentrated them at this camp on the Cape, but in a nurturing, life-affirming way:

Camp B. Hussien Gitmo

In other Massachusetts News, the Boston Marathon Creates a ‘Non-Binary’ Division For FBI "Known Wolf" Bombers.

And in Travel News, Hillary Clinton says Martha's Vineyard situation is 'literally human trafficking,' recalling the horrible, horrible time Bill trafficked her to a non-Epstein Virgin Island.

Horrible for us, anyway

Meanwhile, Joe BidenFuhrer, the World's Only Fascist Dictator Who Can't Make the Trains Run On Time, has asked Mexico to keep refugees from Cuba, Nicaragua and Venezuela. He only wants refugees fleeing to Communism, not from it. 

Island charities who raised money on helping the illegals now say they’re keeping the money for the next flight… or maybe racial justice or climate change. The Feds just raided 50 American homes and had Bannon frog-marched for an identical dispute over charitable funds. A Junta spokesman explained the difference: "Shuddup".

Compare and contrast the furor over 50 Vineyard Deportees to the 53 illegals found Biden-baked in a trailer recently. Already forgotten.

Amidst the hubbub, the Actual President of the United States Donald J. Trump has voluntarily self-deported and is now visiting his golf course in Scotland, where he is reportedly working on his slice.

“Stir opponents up, making them respond to you; then you can observe their forms of behavior, and whether they are orderly or confused. That, I can tell you.”

Manufactured News Network: "Hey--Bananas Need Republics, Too!"