Breaking Now...
Sock Puppet Biden Declares War On USA!
A Speech That Will Live in Infamy!
Might as well make it official, we say.
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"Joe, you really screwed the pooch this time. Now get out of my chair." "Yes, sir." And, Joe..." "Yes, sir?" "Take your Speedo. Somebody call janitorial." |
See also: President Barack Obama Returns To White House After Growing Tired Of Working Remotely | Babylon Bee
In related news, the FBI said it was considering charges against President Trump for receiving classified American documents from Pres. Vladimir Putin.
In a little known side deal, Putin purchased a full Security Clearance from Secretary Clinton when he purchased 20% of our Uranium. This entire deal was evidently done by the night janitor at State because no one has ever heard of it since. Putin sold his Uranium holdings after learning of our Endless Proxy War plans in the Presidential Daily Briefing.
"Sure, President Putin has the right to every classified document in America, just like President Xi, but we went to a lot of trouble to hide these secrets from the duly-elected president Donald Trump and frankly, we don't appreciate Trump sneaking around behind our backs to find out what we've been up to. Who does he think he is, anyway?" asked FBI Spokesman Arrow Gant-Prick.
Prick went on to say that the FBI conducts all investigations without fear or favor unless an Olympic doctor shares his dirty pictures with them. "For example, our Martin Luther King Investigation was just moral as our Al Capone Investigation," Prick explained. "We're just fair and even-handed like that."
And in Sports, Joey asked his Mommy if he could go riding on the bike path again with the other little kids, but his Mommy said no.
Manufactured News Network: "Occupied America's Most Trusted News Source!"
Der NippleFuhrer wants billions more for his Ukrainian NAZI allies?
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A good tactic is one your people enjoy!
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