Breaking Now...
DEMOCRATS ANGRILY DEMAND NY REPUBLICAN GEORGE SANTOS RESIGN AFTER TELLING LIES ABOUT HIS RESUME
Santos reportedly claimed he came from a family of Welsh coal miners in Pennsylvania, graduated at the top of his class, marched with Dr. King, drove Big Rigs and was arrested with Nelson Mandela.
And most incredibly of all, that he was elected president with the most votes in history while only carrying half the counties carried by Obama and one/fifth of those carried by the Real President.
"Biden "won" in a record low 17% of US counties.
He lost support among Black & Hispanic communities.
He lost 18 out of 19 Bellwether Counties.
He lost Ohio, Florida, & Iowa.
The Democrats lost all 27 out of 27 House "toss-up" seats.
But theDemocratsUNI-PARTY wants you to believe Biden shattered the popular vote record."
No word from yet from Obama's Basement if Santos will step down for these Outrageous Lies.
In Other News...
* The Jan. 6th Commission Will Refer Criminal Charges to the DOJ on President Trump and his 71 Million Voters.
The Commission Will Also Refer Charges on an Additional 29 Million Trump Voters Whose Votes Were Transferred to Joe Biden.
"We need to Protect Our Democracy(tm) by putting a hundred million and one people in jail," said Committee Spokesman Roy Bean.
* Rep. Kevin McCarthy Thanks President Trump for Support, Calls Trump a "Swell Guy", "Especially Since I Helped Overthrow Him Last Time and I'm Trying to Sabotage Him Again Even Now."
Most observers were stunned that Kevin finally found something he would fight for, even if it was himself. McCarthy then savagely pretended to attack Leader Mitch McConnell, (D.-Cantonky).
* On Beijing's Orders, Proconsul Biden Announces New "China House" Agency
"This new State Dept. bureau will ensure that Chairman Xi's commands are uniformly obeyed throughout the Federal government." said spokesman Junta Bai-Din.
* Pfizer’s COVID-19 Vaccine Linked to Blood Clotting: FDA
"But it's the fun kind of blood clotting which is popular with all the cool kids now," said FDA's Lee Gall-Emmunity.
* Biden Admin Will Require a Negative COVID Test for Travellers From China Unless They Fly to Mexico and Walk Over Like Everybody Else
* Mark Meadows Accused by the Jan. 6th Pelosi's Alibi Commission of Burning Documents
Reportedly, Meadows burned the documents in the backseat of the "Beast", the Presidential Limousine commandeered by President Trump, who was driving to Virginia to kidnap Gov. Ralph "Coonman" Northam from another Agit-Prop torch-lit Klan Rally sponsored by the FBI.
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Pictured here: Dr. Northam models a new, larger mask he designed to protect Virginians from the Black Plague |
In related news,
* Co-Leader of FBI's Whitmer Fednapping Ring Convicted
Police however are still looking for the Ring-Leader, a Christopher Wray of Washington, D.C.. Police released their only known photo of the shadowy Criminal Mastermind, seen here:
Manufactured News Network: "Our Word as a Biden!"
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