An MNN Special Report: The Child-Seller Biden/Republican Uni-Party Border Crisis(tm)--Teamwork!

MNN Investigates ...

Ben Bergquam Spends Over an Hour on Phone Attempting to Report Credible Terror Tip From Border to ICE and DHS - Told Image of Face is Not Enough Information to Track Down Dangerous Illegal Immigrant (VIDEO) | The Gateway Pundit

Real America’s Voice correspondent Ben Bergquam

MNN has obtained the following letter:

"Date: Jan. 6th Forever
From: Dept. of Homeland Whatever
Washington, D.C. 

To: Some nosy Reporter who doesn't know when to  Butt out-ski

 re: Your Recent Phone Call

 

Dear Mr. Bergquam,

Thank you for your recent, if archaic, interest in America's Homeland Security. You will be pleased to know that we have now opened a file on you.

As we explained in our telephone conversation, we cannot accept your digital photograph of an admitted terrorist for several reasons.

First, it would violate the Terrorists Bill of Rights, which is located deep within the latest Continuing Resolution and therefore sure to pass. If we violate those Precious Rights, Acting Presnit Obama will wish to send them $10 Billion dollars just for starters, and, frankly, our budget is already overstretched.

Secondly, our Facial Recognition Technology is reserved for the Social Credit Scores of law-abiding Americans. We don't want to clutter it up with foreign spies, criminals and terrorists. However, if your fellow terrorist should attend a Trump Rally, we would of course make an exception.

And lastly, all terrorists must provide their name, birthdate, a description of their mission and the name of the Ivy League School they will be attending before we can enter them in our system and begin sponsoring them.

Since you are on the border, however, we are enclosing a gross of $5,000 credit cards. Please give them out to all the other terrorists you encounter. It's not much, but it's the least we can do for our new neighbors in the Underserved Suicide Bomber Community.

Thanks again, and remember: "If You See Something, Say Something!" --we need more evidence for your file.

Inshallah, etc.

ps; We see here that in third grade, you failed to return "Danny and the Dinosaur" to the Park Lake Elementary School Library.  With penalties and interest, you owe $230,980 dollars and forty-eight cents. Please remit at once to Homeland Security by credit card, check or gold bars. 

I guess we won't be reporting any more terrorists crossing the border, will we?" .......

And in other Terror-ish News, 

Woman in Iran Receives 74 Lashings for ‘Violating Public Morals’ by Refusing to Cover Her Hair | The Gateway Pundit

Roya Heshmati

Sen. Lindsay Graham proposed carpet-bombing the young woman, but Obama wanted to send another $10 Billion first.

BREAKING NOW...

In Sewer City, D.C., Not A Federal Agent Ray Epps was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom today. CIA Judge Boasberg allowed Not A Federal Agent Epps to phone in his testimony to avoid process servers. "I hope this helps your lawsuit against Fox," said the Dirty CIA judge Boasberg.

He was then released into the custody of Love Goddess Fani Wills and Stud Muffin Nathan Wade. 

The happy couple will supervise Not A Federal Agent Epps' probation aboard the Love Boat, where Love and Government Agit-Prop are Shiny and New, but Mostly Government Agit-Prop.

Manufactured News Network: "Democracy Dies in the Hands of CIA Mouthpieces Who Say Things Like 'Democracy Dies In Darkness'!"