Narrator-in-Chief: "It was a dark and stormy night...take that, ISIL!"

"We shall describe our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall narrate on the beaches, we shall narrate on the landing grounds, we shall narrate in the fields and in the streets, we shall narrate in the hills; we shall never surrender our story to Hollywood without full script approval, cast approval and director approval. My artistry demands it."-- Pres. Winston Hussein Mosque-Hill

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941 -- a date which will live in literary infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by narrative forces of the Empire of Japan.  I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly critique by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of Narrative has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire."--Franklin Delano Hemingway

"Damn the torpedoes; full speed-reading ahead!"--Author David Farragut, "Use Your Words, Children"

It's...I mean, pathetic. No, crazy...wait...aw, words fail.

And that's the problem:

“When it comes to ISIL, we are in a fight--a narrative fight--with them, a narrative battle.”

Bibi Netanyahu was on TV recently making the common sense point that terrorists have to be defeated in real life, not just in the Battle of Ideas. We need both, as they are mutually reinforcing, but the first priority must be Actual Victory, not Virtual Virtue-Signaling.

The Administration seems to be engaged in a Good Cop/Bad Cop head-fake, a misdirection tactic to ensure that neither happens, that nothing gets done:

"We must degrade and destroy ISIL."
"Okay. Do that."
"We can't. Congress hasn't signed my Declaration of Narrative War, which has more caveats and exemptions than a Bill Clinton marriage vow. Besides, we can't kill our way out of the War on Terror. We need to win the Narrative War."
"Okay. Do that."
"We can't. Because the Narrative is that it's all America's fault."
"Aw, forget it. Just forget the whole thing!"
"Awesome! We thought you'd never ask."

In Narrative World, for example, you get more angry at Trump for calling it a bombing than you get at the bombing itself. Or you scream at Trump's kid--but not at bombers--when he compares immigrant bombers to poisonous Skittles in an otherwise delicious bowl of candy:

"Lend-Lease is like letting my neighbor borrow my garden hose to put out a fire."--FDR
"OMG!! FDR just compared World War II to a minor house fire!!! Clearly, he's unfit to lead!!!!!!"--The Zombie Press

Maybe it's because the president believes in the Bill Ayers Literary Professor Model. Oprah gave Obama her Extreme Vetting Seal of Approval and Ayers helped him win the presidency by writing his "auto"biographies.

"There's been another terrorist attack--Quick, where's my library card?"

But before his literary efforts helped secure Obama's victory, Ayers won the ground war by bombing a federal judge and his family and murdering San Francisco Police Officer Brian McDonnell with a nail bomb.

"Hey, next time, could you guys declare Narrative War against me instead of Actual War?"

And when the facts don't fit the Narrative, the facts must be wrong. As VDH puts it,

 

"The media have devolved into a weird Ministry of Truth. News seems defined now as what information is necessary to release to arrive at correct views."

History will record that this president not only lost our Surge Victory in Iraq and lost with his Pre-Emptive Surrender to Iran, but lost his grip on reality.

That's the real story Narrative.

[P.S.: Even Osama's Obama's use of the acronym "ISIL" instead of "ISIS" is Narrative-driven. The "L" stands for "Levant", an area that includes Israel. It is a way for Obama and his fellow Muslim Brotherhood staff to lend legitimacy to the Islamist claim over Israel. "Words have meanings," indeed.]