MNN Cage-Lined News

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* Classified Document Salesman of the Year Joe Biden Hired a Fed-Ex Driver to Pick Up Boxes of Top Secret Papers at His Office the Day Before it Was "Raided"

Federal Prosecutors Will Charge President Trump with Lunging For a Federal Steering Wheel.

* FBI Directum Chris Wray Says the Two Terrorists Killed at the Niagra Bridge Were Definitely Not Abdul and Ahmad Who Cut My Grass and Clean My Pool 

Wray Said the Car Contained “Energetic Material That Can Become Combustible When Subjected to Heat or Friction”, Which Could Include Almost Everything. For Example, an Extensive Headless Barbie Doll Collection, Bob Mueller's Old Toenail Clippings, 53 Copies of the Sports Illustrated Transgender Swimsuit Edition, Nellie Ohr's Expired Shortwave License (Autographed) and some Half-Burned Sparklers. 

Prime Minister Trudeau Dispatched a Crack Team of Waffen SS Troops to the Border With China's Permission.

Federal Prosecutors Will Charge President Trump With Not Lunging For a Federal Steering Wheel.

* And in Election-ish News, President Trump received the endorsement of 100 million Americans after paying them in Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity.

Federal Prosecutors Didn't Mind Since the FBI Weren't Using Them Anyway.

Manufactured News Network: “We Pretend Better Than You!”