Eunuch Horn the Unicorn Sez: "All Hail His Majesty Grant Strobl!!!"

 "Say It...Or Else!" The LGBTaliban Alliance: StrongerTogether?



"Even I, Eunuch Horn the Unicorn cannot read this moronic chart, boys and girls whatevs!"
 

"You can has reading my chart, little purple freak! Is no such thing as unicorns in my Afghanistan!
Never trust dinosaur in lavender shirt...wait--I have lavender shirt...No!...Arrrrgh!"

HEATSTREET: University of Michigan Professors Will Face Disciplinary Action for Ignoring ‘Preferred Pronouns’

"[I]f professors accidentally use the wrong pronoun, “you can acknowledge that you made a mistake and use the correct pronoun next time,” said the university’s provost...
University spokesman woman neither both hybrid unicorn: “If there were a persistent pattern of ignoring a student’s preference, we would address that as a performance matter.”
The decision comes after a University of Michigan junior founded the Wolverines for Preferred Pronouns Initiative...The petition argued that it is “a experience for individuals who constantly have to inform or correct professors of their identity.” Allowing students to specify their own preferred pronouns “will prevent the erasure of nonbinary individuals who use neopronouns or they/them pronouns,” it said.".............

"it" said?

Maybe that petition doesn't want to be called "it". That's very dehumanizing for a petition, you know. On behalf of mentally and emotionally drained petitions everywhere, I demand a humiliating and very public recantation by the It-o-phobes!

Here, His Majesty Grant Stobl cancels both parties' conventions and decrees Himself "Ruler of Free-ish World and also California". So let it be written, so let it be executively-ordered.

The College Fix: “As a result of this new policy, professors are now expected to call students by their personally designated pronoun, even if it has no basis in their biological sex. ..."Designated pronouns will automatically populate on all class rosters accessed through Wolverine Access. Rosters pulled from other systems will not have designated pronouns listed,” the university states.
With that, Grant Strobl, a conservative student at the University of Michigan and chairman of the Young Americans for Freedom Board of Governors, decided to change his preferred pronoun to “His Majesty” — in an attempt to make the point that this policy has no basis in reality....“I have no problem with students asking to be identified a certain way, almost like someone named Richard who would like to be called Dick. It is respectful to make a reasonable effort to refer to students in the way that they prefer.”
He does have a problem when the university institutionalizes the use of pronouns that are completely arbitrary and may possibly sanction people for referring to someone different than their preference. ...“So, I henceforth shall be referred to as: His Majesty, Grant Strobl. I encourage all U-M students to go onto Wolverine Access, and insert the identity of their dreams.”.....

In that spirit, I have decided that I will now be addressed as "His Supreme Leader".

That way, the Gender-and-Otherwise-Confused Obama won't know if he's talking about himself, his Ayatollah or me.

"Mr. President, it says here His Supreme Leader requires a pepperoni pizza and some beer."
"I didn't order a pizza, Toadsworth."
"Not you, sir..."
"Oh--you'd think the Ayatollah could order his own pie with the stack of cash I just sent. Still, His wish is my command--get me the number for the Tehran Pizza Hut."
"No, Mr. President--not that Supreme Leader either. 'His Supreme Leader' is a right-wing internet blogger."
"Let me know when we've completed transferring control of the Internet to the world's dictators, Toadsworth."
"Dictators won't gain control the Internet--it says so right here in your last press release."
"Umm...sure, sure, right you are Toadsworth. Still, let me know."
"Yes, sir."
"What's that, Toady...?"
"Yes, Your Supreme Leader."
"That's better."

Speaking of confusementation, the real question is how long the Democrats are going to get away with coddling both the Radical Gender Community and the Radical Islamist Community, whose values are in direct conflict: “It went from being a gay vigil [for Orlando] to being a vigil for Islam.”

Democrats were able to keep Jesse Jackson and Hillary's Klan mentor Robert Byrd together for years, but that was a different Paleozoic Era.



"What was that scary flash of light, Bronto-Bill?"
"It was nothing, Hilla-saurus--just some meteor from Galaxy Trump.
Keep on feeding as usual, Hill--we're almost bog-grass billionaires by now!"

Lefties have supported both groups since they are both destructive to American tradition and interests, but they may not be able to reconcile them much longer. For instance, you have Black Lives cop-hater Democrats shutting down LGBT-Democrats' parades, while Hillary is losing cop unions.

 

Elsewhere, Radical Feminist-Democrats and their cats, once the darlings of the Left, are losing ground to other Democrat interest groups--some of these women actually object to having Democrat men naked in their facilities with schoolgirls or to being molested by Democrat immigrants--and their TV networks.

Pat Paulsen for President: "Some of these gals are just picky, picky, picky. What could possibly go wrong
with letting in lots of unvetted Mid-East immigrants, Bobby?"

Huma Abedin is almost a poster child of those conflicts; married to a Democrat Jewish man who can't afford pants, she's a politically-empowered, liberated Democrat woman of the world by day, nip-and-tuck editor of her mom's "Female Circumcision Quarterly" by night.

He's been on camera so many times, he deserves an Oscar--
an Oscar Mayor Weiner!

And the intra-Democrat conflict between Islamo-symps and LGBTs was on full display at Hillary's recent Florida rally--about one one-hundredth the size of a Trump rally, more like a coffee klatch, really--but you can almost hear her aides arguing backstage:

"I say we give Taliban Dad a seat of honor behind Hillary."
"But his kid just slaughtered dozens of gay people a month ago and he may have been in on it."
"But he's the real victim here, of the Racist Backlash That Never Seems To Happen!"
"But he taught his son to hate!"
"Only Republicans hate. Terrorists are just mentally-ill. If only there was more federal funding..."
"But his son was a gun-owner!"
"Yes, but they're immigrants--and we're for a borderless world."
"But he beats his wives!"
"We're also for Marriage Equality."
"Well so were the people at the nightclub--until his son shot them!"
"Yes, but he shot them in a nurturing, inclusive and diverse way."
"Look, there's only one way to settle this: let's call the White House. (*dials phone*)
"Okay...yes, sir...thank you, sir." (*hangs up*)
"Well, that settles it; His Supreme Leader says we must let Taliban Dad sit behind Hillary."
"Which 'Supreme Leader'--the President, the Ayatollah or the right-wing Internet blogger?"
"The one who ordered the pepperoni and Bud Light."



Eunuch Horn the Ginned-up Gender Unicorn Sez: "I wantz to sitz behindz Hillary!"

Taliban Dad Sez: "I also wants sits behind Hillary!"



Don't fight, boys--and--um, unicorns; this Party is big enough for all of us!"

 

"Can I being called 'His Supreme Leader', too?"

No, you can't. By Order of His Supreme Leader.

And why hasn't this guy been arrested yet? He was the impresario who staged the off-off-Broadway production of "Omar, Get Your Gun". Gasbag Democrats can detect the slightest hint of wrongdoing, fraud and criminality by Wells Fargo execs--but not by other Democrats, such as bribery and obstruction by Hillary or terror support by Taliban Dad.

Moral midgets--must be yet another Democrat interest group.