By Fact-Checking Punchlines, Twitter Has Become One

Stop Making Censor!

"I said SILENCE!"

Twitter is shadowbanning and censoring the "#LearnToCode"-hashtag for laid-off "journalists". What? Why?

Also "Who, When, How and Where?" That's a little journalism joke. Like Tater.

Evidently, you can talk smack about schoolchildren all day long, but self-important "journalists" are strictly off-limits. Didn't Hillary tell laid-off coal-miners they should learn to code?

Maybe journos could do something useful for a change. I heard the coal mines are hiring again. Also, Keystone needs pipefitters. And ANWR needs drillers. Or maybe wedding planner, since you're married to the Narrative.

#They Fell In To a Burning Ring of  Fired

In the spirit of Iowahawk, we present:

"The Non-Permitted Ballad of Jack Dorsey" from Johnny PayPal's classic"Live at the Folsom Street Twitter Headquarters in San Francisco":

I'm up here banning hashtags
like plastic straws and bags
I got no sense of humor
when it comes to gags
I'm stuck in Twitter HQ
time keeps draggin' on
but that meme keeps rollin'
on down to San Antone.

When #Dorsey was a baby,
my mama told me "Jack,
Don't mess with peoples' punchlines
Don't be a Free Speech hack."
But I doxxed a man Encino
just to make him choke
the crime that he committed:
Making Unauthorized Jokes.

I bet there's Trump folk tweetin'
And sayin' what they want
They're probably tossing back to liberals
their own silly taunts
But I know they had it comin'
Speech just can't be Free
But those Trumpers keep a speakin'
And that's what tortures me

Well if they freed me from Headquarters
If the Internet was mine
I would ban all pesky hashtags
that didn't walk the line
Far from San Francisco
Is where I'd rather be
heading the Joke Inspection Bureau
in Washington, D.C.!


Cashback UPDATE: Our friend Lucidian provides the excellent Twitter Prison Blues soundtrack for the Man in Black

"And while you're at it, Sue, take out that silly little earring!"

Rest in the Vine: To Bee Or Not To Bee? That Is the Question That Violates Our Community Standards For Pre-Approved Humor By the Ministry of Satire:

They don’t come any nastier--or creepier--than Facebook. These people are where humor goes to die. They are the Bergen-Belsen of burlesque. The Treblinka of travesty. The crematoriums of caricature. The harpoons of lampoon.

And now we find they were all chipping in to build Fauci's Super-Bug in China. No wonder they want everyone silenced.

I really can't even believe what I'm reading, it's so alien to the America we all grew up in. Everyone now says "Trump was right!" but Reagan was even righter: "Freedom is never more than one generation from extinction."

This IS that generation.

Zuckface is so clueless and so un-self-aware, he tried to buy "Another Brick in the Wall" from Rodger Waters, to use as a jingle for his Brick Factory-Empire. Waters told him to f*** off. 

Zuck IS the Wall and he doesn't know it. Allegedly. He must know. Small children, morons and farm animals know it.

Get this: Facebook is attacking the Bee for "punching down". You know--like a giant global mega-corporation attacking a tiny Christian humor website. Oligarch, please.

Rest in the Vine: Manufactured News Network's "Weakened At Bernie's" Entertainment Update: The Mueller Years Edition:

Snopes: The Stooges were not German Party-members as previously thought

...they were Japanese spies!

(Babylon, Akkadia) After several tawdry episodes of "fact-checking" jokes made at the Christian satire site "The Babylon Bee", Snopes has decided to go full-Groucho and begin "fact-checking" comedy acts in order to protect the weak-minded and unsuspecting public from dangerous and unverified punchlines. Or as Snopes likes to call them, "punch-lies".

Here are some of Snopes' vitally important findings: 

* The Cone of Silence: Neither Cone-shaped nor Silent--but who will tell the People?
* Alice Kramden never actually made a moon-landing.
* Who is on first and What is on second, but I Don't Know is now captain of the Women's Soccer Team.
*  Henny Youngman did not, as a matter of fact, want you to take his wife.
*  Historians now agree: Sgt. Schultz knew somethink, but was too inhibited by the social pressures of his time and place to express it.
* "Fronkensteen" is actually pronounced "Frankenstein" after all.
* Achmed the Dead Terrorist is not really going to "keel you" or anybody else. .................

#ShuddupTheyExplained-UPDATE: Since #LearnToCode is now officially considered Hate Speech on the internet, you're out of luck if you run a legitimate coding school. To advertise, you'll just have to use car magnets and this:

Chief Crybully Sez: #LearnRefigeratorRepair!

or #ProfessionalRaceHustling.

"Name the prominent Democrat politician who stood up and said, “This Covington Kid crucifixion is wrong!”"

Or any Big Tech Executive who tried to censor that mob.