MNN BREAKING NEWS UPDATE...

Manufactured News Network: "Occupied America's Most Trusted News Source!"

This Justin: Trudeau is Castro's kid.

According to Canadian authorities, this is how you get Christian ministers dragged through the streets by SWAT Teams fifty years later.

BREAKING…The FBI just released this statement:

“We now believe that Russians at Darkside Ransomware were able to access the Colonial Pipeline through Maricopa County’s routers and servers. We must shut down all access to the servers for the next 5-10 years while we conduct a thorough investigation. 

We also recovered a ransom note. It demands that all Americans get vaccinated in return for turning turn gas supply back on. Furthermore, the note said "Remember; high gas prices are Putin's fault, not Biden's!".”

In response, comedy experts demanded that that the government get a new schtick besides "Russia, Russia Russia!".

We'll bring you less as the story unfolds.

Manufactured News Network: “Democracy Dies in Yada Yada Yada!”

Methyl-Ethyl-UPDATE: White House Spokesman: "There are no gasoline shortages! Your fuel gauge is lying to you!"

To address the gasoline shortages, Sec. of Transportation Alfred E. Newman will be meeting with expert Jimmy Carter. 

And in our CrimeStoppers segment today, please call police immediately if your lying eyes have seen this man:

The adults didn't want to see it.

It took a child to tell the truth.

And you thought "The Emperor's New Clothes" was a fairy tale.

And in Sports News, PGA newcomer Frank M. Davis III has taken the lead at the Tehran Open:

Here, the leader asks for silence on the putting green as he resumes play, if, by 'resume play',
you mean wrecking America while giving cash and nuclear weapons to his Ayatollah again.