BREAKING NOW…
* THE SENATE WILL CONDUCT VENEZUELA “HEARINGS” TODAY, EVEN THOUGH NONE OF THEM ARE LISTENING
THE OFFICIAL TITLE OF THE PROCEDINGS IS THE “HEY–LET’S SEE HOW MANY SENATORS ARE ON THE CARTEL’S PAYROLL!” -HEARING
* THE FBI FINALLY ARRESTED THE JAN.6 PIPEBOMBER TODAY. “IT TOOK SO LONG BECAUSE WE THOUGHT SOMEBODY SAID ‘PIPEFITTER'”, SAID FBI SPOKESWOMAN ANNE R. KIST
THE BUREAU ALSO EXPECTS TO ARREST THE LINDBERGH KIDNAPPER ANY DAY NOW
* THE PIPEBOMER SUSPECT IS SAID TO BE AN ANARCHIST FALL GUY, WHICH IS A REFRESHING CHANGE FROM THE USUAL ISLAMIC FALL GUYS, LONE TEEENAGER FALL GUYS AND THE FURRY/TRANS FALL GUYS
Manufactured News Network: “They Can’t Sink Our Cigarette Boat–We’re Quitting!”
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