*(Washington, DC) The Amalgamated My Pet Russian Stool Pigeon and Intel Workers Local #305 has filed a Labor Board grievance against the US Intelligence Community.
"We were all promised permanent jobs when Hillary won," said union President Boris Badanov, "but nobody ever calls any more. All the guys we worked for now have jobs at MSNBC and CNN, while we're sitting in the basement waiting for another Nellie Ohr shortwave message that never comes."
The federal employee union represents thousands of Russian informants who worked for the government to frame Donald Trump, his campaign and then his administration. Noted union members include Maria Veselnitskya, Rinat Akhmetshin and Anatoli Samachornov, all sent to Trump Tower by Loretta Lynch and Fusion GPS to frame the Trumps, Maria Butina, sent by Peter Strzok to frame the NRA and Gennadiy Vasilievich Vostretsov, sent by the FBI to frame Roger Stone.
Also Joseph Misfud, sent by John Brennan to frame George Papadopoulos. Although not a Russian, Mifsud's funny name sounds Russian-ish for government informant-work. Also Carter Pageinski, sent by the FBI to spy on himself. However, Oligarch Oleg Deripaska refused to join the union, so they framed him, too.
"We just want to go back to work for the Intelligence Community and do our patriotic duty by framing Americans like Bernie Sanders and Tulsi Gabbard and the few remaining Republicans we didn't get to frame in 2016, " said Badanov, without evidence. …….
MNN BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: DNC Issues Statement: “We apologize for upcoming chaotic Nevada Primary Results on Saturday showing Bernie losing to Buttigieg and Bloomberg, or “Booty n' Bloomy”, as we like to call them,” said DNC Barstool Tom Perez. “Bernie will of course be the eventual winner, but not before the matter has been sufficiently muddled to blunt his momentum.”
Perez went on to blame the scheduled confusion on the new “Draft Granny!”-software developed by Chappaqua Industries. … Developing…
In related news, Bernie Sanders announced that he will now only release medical reports from the 1970's.
Meanwhile, after Old Mike Bloomberg's insulting remarks about farmers came to light, his campaign hired Agricultural Consultant Eva Gabor to mend electrizzical fences.
"I told zee Mayor zat people would rather hear a farmer explain politics than a politician explain farming," Miss Gabor hick-splained. "Zey are both full of zee manure, but zee farmer haz sumpsing to show for it. Isn't zat right, Dahlink?"
Democrats thoughtfully received her advice with their typical grace and aplomb by accusing her of being a Russian asset.
Our reporter at the Vegas Democrat Debate this week filed this report:
"It was like watching Crabs in a Bucket. Except crabs don’t plagiarize recipes for Pow Wow Chow to get a leg up. Bloomberg is a great debater. He can argue both sides of an issue with just himself on the stage. And still be wrong."
Back in Iowa, Democrats are still counting and have pledged to keep counting until they get the correctcandidate count. ...….
Meanwhile, after Old Mike Bloomberg's insulting remarks about farmers came to light, his campaign hired Agricultural Consultant Eva Gabor to mend electrizzical fences.
Democrats thoughtfully received her advice with their typical grace and aplomb by accusing her of being a Russian asset.
Our reporter at the Vegas Democrat Debate this week filed this report:
"It was like watching Crabs in a Bucket. Except crabs don’t plagiarize recipes for Pow Wow Chow to get a leg up. Bloomberg is a great debater. He can argue both sides of an issue with just himself on the stage. And still be wrong."
Back in Iowa, Democrats are still counting and have pledged to keep counting until they get the correct
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If you remember to take it."
(Chappaqua Liquors, NY) Hillary Clinton Blasts Trump’s Pardons: “That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works. The Framers gave the president the power of pardons so he could pay for his kids’ college education. We can’t have a president who is so ignorant of basic economics,” said 2000’s former Pardon Saleswoman of the Year. “And earthquakes are for weddings,” she added on her fingers. …Developing…
(Des Moines, NV) Candidate Joe Biden pledged to step down as president should he lose his razor-sharp mental acuity for which he is so widely-known that small children sing paeans to it in foreign countries.
"Were I to discover that I could no longer form a sentence with a subject and a predicate, I would resign. My word as a Biden," said the former Welsh coal miner. "If, for example, you saw me letting my kid take payoffs or saw me advising not to take out a bin Laden or even swimming nude in front of the female Secret Service agents, you would know that I had lost it, and it was time to go," said Biden.
"Hey--am I losing it or did a pigeon in a red MAGA hat just fly by?" he added.
In other Russia news, MNN was able to obtain outgoing DNI Joseph Maguire's remarkably candid briefing to Congress:
"The minuscule effort by Russian Intelligence to tamper with the 2016 election pales into nothingness compared to the massive and overwhelming election-tampering by American Intelligence.
Ironically, one of the ways American Intelligence tampered was to blame the Russians. Since this stinks like a continuation of those crimes, this briefing on 2020 election-tampering is therefore a form of election-tampering itself.
Layers, people, layers."
Soviet Judge Amy Shelly-Berman ruled Maguire was talking too much and issued a nation-wide injunction decreeing a Permanent Lifetime Ban on All Pesky Free Speech except for her and all her crooked pals.
(Chappaqua Liquors, NY) Hillary Clinton Blasts Trump’s Pardons: “That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works. The Framers gave the president the power of pardons so he could pay for his kids’ college education. We can’t have a president who is so ignorant of basic economics,” said 2000’s former Pardon Saleswoman of the Year. “And earthquakes are for weddings,” she added on her fingers. …Developing…
(Des Moines, NV) Candidate Joe Biden pledged to step down as president should he lose his razor-sharp mental acuity for which he is so widely-known that small children sing paeans to it in foreign countries.
"Were I to discover that I could no longer form a sentence with a subject and a predicate, I would resign. My word as a Biden," said the former Welsh coal miner. "If, for example, you saw me letting my kid take payoffs or saw me advising not to take out a bin Laden or even swimming nude in front of the female Secret Service agents, you would know that I had lost it, and it was time to go," said Biden.
"Hey--am I losing it or did a pigeon in a red MAGA hat just fly by?" he added.
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| Pigeons United To Interfere Now (P.U.T.I.N.) |
In other Russia news, MNN was able to obtain outgoing DNI Joseph Maguire's remarkably candid briefing to Congress:
"The minuscule effort by Russian Intelligence to tamper with the 2016 election pales into nothingness compared to the massive and overwhelming election-tampering by American Intelligence.
Ironically, one of the ways American Intelligence tampered was to blame the Russians. Since this stinks like a continuation of those crimes, this briefing on 2020 election-tampering is therefore a form of election-tampering itself.
Layers, people, layers."
Soviet Judge Amy Shelly-Berman ruled Maguire was talking too much and issued a nation-wide injunction decreeing a Permanent Lifetime Ban on All Pesky Free Speech except for her and all her crooked pals.
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