Paul A. Szypula on X: Ukraine Parliament releases a statement saying they desire peace...
"Dear President Trump and the American People,On behalf of the Ukrainian People, including the pizza delivery boy we just seized as a conscript, and of course, our Swiss bankers, the Legislature of Ukraine wishes to thank President Trump for his quirky, yet troubling, desire for Peace.
We also desire Peace--as long as these few simple conditions are met.
First, we get back all of our territory from Russia.
We also get to keep all of Russia's seized assets.
We further demand recognition of our Sovereign Right to close churches, jail priests, arrest political opponents, seize newspapers, radio stations and TV stations, hunt down critics, suspend the constitution and cancel elections so the People cannot vote themselves out of this Endless War we so dearly love. For Democracy.
We demand Legal Immunity from prosecution for conspiring with BlackRock, the CIA and the State Department to kill as many Russians and Ukrainians as possible, while swimming in Blood Money.
We demand that all the Oil and Gas in Donbas be returned to us--and that we be allowed to once again unleash our Azov Nazi Brigades on the ethnic Russians living there, you know, the Way our Founders Hitler and Bandera Would Have Wanted It(tm).
Of course, we will also need to use Donbas as a base to launch terror attacks into Russia to overthrow Putin. And we'll need some nukes just in case.
And we'll also need an apology from you, President Trump, for calling President Zelensky a "dictator".
We also desire Peace--as long as these few simple conditions are met.
First, we get back all of our territory from Russia.
We also get to keep all of Russia's seized assets.
We further demand recognition of our Sovereign Right to close churches, jail priests, arrest political opponents, seize newspapers, radio stations and TV stations, hunt down critics, suspend the constitution and cancel elections so the People cannot vote themselves out of this Endless War we so dearly love. For Democracy.
We demand Legal Immunity from prosecution for conspiring with BlackRock, the CIA and the State Department to kill as many Russians and Ukrainians as possible, while swimming in Blood Money.
We demand that all the Oil and Gas in Donbas be returned to us--and that we be allowed to once again unleash our Azov Nazi Brigades on the ethnic Russians living there, you know, the Way our Founders Hitler and Bandera Would Have Wanted It(tm).
Of course, we will also need to use Donbas as a base to launch terror attacks into Russia to overthrow Putin. And we'll need some nukes just in case.
And we'll also need an apology from you, President Trump, for calling President Zelensky a "dictator".
We will also require immediate NATO Membership. And not just for us, but every country on earth not named "Russia".
Furthermore, we want all the royalties from the Biden Bird-Flu Bio-Labs. Which don't exist. But if they did. Which they don't.
Above all, we will require Permanent US Funding. Perhaps you could simply give us the keys to the US Treasury so we wouldn't have to mention this again. You know how you get.
Once you submit to these few simple conditions, we can all "move forward into broad, sunlit uplands" as Churchill put it, of the Peace that we all so fervently desire. (Actual Winston Churchill, not our Cut-Rate-version).
ps; As a token of your good faith, could you please wire $50B today?
Above all, we will require Permanent US Funding. Perhaps you could simply give us the keys to the US Treasury so we wouldn't have to mention this again. You know how you get.
Once you submit to these few simple conditions, we can all "move forward into broad, sunlit uplands" as Churchill put it, of the Peace that we all so fervently desire. (Actual Winston Churchill, not our Cut-Rate-version).
ps; As a token of your good faith, could you please wire $50B today?
ps ps; We also reserve the Right to send another Azov Nazi Brigade to smash windows at the Capitol again, should the need arise.
ps ps ps: Could you make it a $100B?
Sincereishly, etc.
Very well done
ReplyDelete