BREAKING NOW...
* CIA ATTENDS ASSASSINS ANNONNYMOUS MEETING; BREAKS DOWN AND CONFESSES TO FICO SHOOTING IN SLOVAKIA
ADMITS TO BEING POWERLESS OVER THEIR COLOR REVOLUTION ADDICTION
"Hi. My name is Langley and I'm a Coup-aholic."
If the tyranny-addicted Agency can somehow remain Coup-free for a month, it will receive a 30-Day Chip for Coup Abstinence, although those who know the Rogue Agency the best have their doubts. This is due to the troubled Agency's long rap sheet, stretching back to its sketchy juvenile record.
* UKRAINE AND USA SIGN HISTORIC "SISTER STATES" DECLARATION
We have so much in common," said Capone Community Organizer Mira-Mira Undevall.
"Both countries were overthrown by the same CIA. Our Installed Dictator is Cut-Rate Churchill and yours is Der NippleFuhrer. We cancelled our elections outright, while they want to cancel yours with Fraud. They kill millions of you with Riots, Viruses and Vaccines and kill millions of us with Cannon Fodder War--and both to benefit BlackRock. And they run their Sex Slave Rings here in Ukraine and at your Mexican Border."
"Yes, the same Dirty Politicians and Endless War Intel Agencies run both our Occupation Governments... and we are both looting the same Treasury!" gushed Ms. Undevall, currently visiting Ottawa, Canada to celebrate Nazi War Criminal Pride Month there.
"Is this where I'm building a Pier?"
"That's Hamas, Joe."
“I blew up their Pipeline.”
“I know you did, Joe, I know you did."
Manufactured News Network: "Our Boeing Left the Dock When Our Barge Left the Airport!"
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