BREAKING NOW...
* FBI SAYS AUTHORIZING THE MACHINE-GUNNING OF PRESIDENTS IS MERELY STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE ANY TIME THEY OVERTHROW A GOVERNMENT AND HAVE TO ASSAULT A PRESIDENT'S HOME IN ORDER TO RETRIEVE THE DOCUMENTS PROVING THEIR OWN SEDITION, CONSPIRACY AND OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE
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| Pictured here: FBI agents kick in the doors of the Bidens' Shanty Irish Beach Shack, but in a diverse, inclusive and life-affirming way, looking for Mid-Life Crisis 'Vettes and Hawaiian Tropic Space Laser Sunscreen, SPF 15,000 |
DUE TO THE CONTROVERSY, HOWEVER, THE FBI PROMISES TO DEVELOP A ROUTINE POLICY ON FONDLING UNDERWEAR
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* EVEN ZELENSKY IMPRESSED AS HAMAS STEALS EVERY LAST BIT OF AID DELIVERED FROM NEW GAZA PIER IN DESPERATE BID TO BECOME JUST LIKE THE US CONGRESS
Brought to you by Senator Menendez's Capitol Gold & Silver Emporium:
"Don't Get Stuck with That Fiat Paper Money That We're Printing Up like Milton/Bradley on a Six-Day Meth Bender! We Demand Real Gold and Silver Bars for All Our Bribery Payments and So Should You. In Fact, We're so Sure That Our Precious Metals Are Going to Appreciate in Value, That We Refuse to Sell You Any of Ours!"
CALL NOW! 1-800- IMUSTHAVEDONESOMETHINGTOPISSOFFOBAMA
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| "Where's my change?" |
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