Rest in the Vine: MNN Breaking News UPDATE

Thursday, March 12, 2020

MNN Breaking News UPDATE

BREAKING... Former Welsh coal miner Joe Biden will address the nation today on the Plague of Justinian pandemic. Biden is expected to call for mandatory testing by placing a live hen next to the swelling to draw out the pestilence from the body. He will also demand the closure of the Silk Road. However, sniffing the hair of random strangers would still be permitted.

“I’m gonna’ go Medieval on their a–you know the thing,” said Biden during a campaign event at the Hamelin Pest Control & Funeral Parlor Emporium. The event was attended by less than a dozen people due to "safety" concerns.

In related News, due to falling sales, Corona Beer will change its name to "Virus Beer".

UPDATE: Dr. Anthony Rodham-Fauci calls for all gatherings to be limited to less than two.

"In my expert life-long bureaucratic medical opinion, this virus will run its course by, oh, Nov. 4th," he added.

Manufactured News Network: "Lovingly Hand-Crafted In Small Batches For Your Own Good!"

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Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” 3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence. 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. 5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, 6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. 8 Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked. 9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, 10 No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; 11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. 12 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. 14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. 15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”

The Prodigy

“…What has America done for the benefit of mankind? Let our answer be this: America, with the same voice which spoke herself into existence as a nation, proclaimed to mankind the inextinguishable rights of human nature, and the only lawful foundations of government. She has, in the lapse of nearly half a century, without a single exception, respected the independence of other nations while asserting and maintaining her own. She has abstained from interference in the concerns of others, even when conflict has been for principles to which she clings, as to the last vital drop that visits the heart. Wherever the standard of freedom and Independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will her heart, her benedictions and her prayers be. But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own. She well knows that by once enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication, in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy, and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standard of freedom. The fundamental maxims of her policy would insensibly change from liberty to force…. She might become the dictatress of the world. She would be no longer the ruler of her own spirit…. Her glory is not dominion, but liberty. Her march is the march of the mind. She has a spear and a shield: but the motto upon her shield is, Freedom, Independence, Peace.”--John Quincy Adams on the foundation of American Foreign Policy, 1821

Thursday, March 12, 2020

MNN Breaking News UPDATE

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