What If...?

They Think They Are Exposing The President. Fact Is, He's Exposing Them.

What if we had a real Press Corps instead of this hollow-eyed Press Corpse?
What if they were focused on Who, What, When, Where, Why and How instead of “Gotcha!”?
For years, all they did was write story after story after story on RUSSIA!, trying to help Hillary, Brennan and Comey frame the President. It was pure horsesh*t, yet it was their entire output for months and years.
Then they spent another year on the Impeachment Fraud. Not only did it waste the precious time of the Administration, those were years they could have been doing stories on, I don’t know, ventilator shortages across America. Or how the FDA was stifling helpful new drugs. Or how Coumo ran his hospitals into the dirt long before this crisis. Or how the NIH was trying to hand out grants to study the best way to chemically castrate little boys instead of focusing on epidemics. And on and on.
But, no.

Instead we get the New York Times parroting the phony numbers of the Chinese Politburo: "The US Now Leads The World In Coronavirus Cases", the Times claimed without evidence.

To which professional patient Hillary Jezebel Clinton rejoined: "He did promise "America First"." I bet she was up 'til 3 a.m. writing that joke.

The same Times article has reporter Julia Ioffe asking questions. Unfortunately, the question is this: "Who is the shithole country now?"

You can just feel the patriotism dripping of that tweet from here, can't you?

So to answer the Commie brat without further ado, and with a tip of the hat to a comedian who asked that we not use his name Jeff Foxworthy, we present:

You may be a shithole country if...

...your President-for-Life has almost as many medals as John Kerry applied for.
...the hurricane you experienced 30 years ago is still a front-page national emergency.
...machetes are placed on the right with the salad fork.
...all press reports start by praising your country's Menshevik medical system.
...your Transport Ministry classifies a llama as a "muscle car".
...your National Fragrance is musk ox.
...the hit of the Boat Show is the exciting new Twin Outboard Water Buffalo 2000!
...even gypsies refuse to steal your children.
...nerve gas just went up to $2.89 per gallon self-serve.
...All the cool American college students put your Gestapo Chief's picture on their t-shirts.

You may be a shithole country if...

...your Number #1 pizza topping is tree bark.
...Dick Durbin and Bob Mueller scrubbed all references to your culture from the FBI's counter-terrorism manuals on orders from the local Muslim Brotherhood, Oval Office Chapter.
...college professors insist we adopt your country's political system, even though you just ate Sunday brunch from a dumpster.
...your nation's entire GDP is based on Deepak Chopra successfully bilking lonely widows.
...the .50 caliber machine guns you just bought out of the back of a stolen Lexus in Juarez say "Courtesy of Eric Holder".
...the secret ingredient in your country's hot dogs: a hot dog.
...your national Rock-Throwing Team has dominated the Olympic Medal count for the last fifty years.

You may be a shithole country if...

...your dictators, criminals and terrorists got their nukes from Obama, their machine guns from Holder, their rocket-propelled grenades from Hillary, their censorship from Facebook and their excuses from the Fake News.
..."Snakes on a Plane!" is both the in-flight movie and the motto painted on the tail-fin of your national airline.
...you want to sacrifice a 9 year-old virgin to the volcano but they're all happily married.
...Liam Neeson is rescuing his daughter from your extended family.
...your State-Run Media isn't must-see TV--it's Must-Watch.
...your Entertainment Industry is powered by dung-fired power plants. And the entertainment consists of watching the dung fire.

And finally, you may be a shithole country if...

...your banana republic's cabinet ministers openly took bribes while the "independent" press stared at their shoes as the former el Presidente wiretapped political opponents in collusion with the National Police Force in order to rig the last election and...oh, wait a damn minuto...

Lemme' also give a shout-out to the so-called #Resistance, those government employees in a state of mutiny. This is what real Resistance looks like:

and this:

This, however, is what you look like:

Don't flatter yourselves; Sedition is not Resistance.

Mark Steyn: "I have loathed the mainstreaming of the ChiComs ever since it began. Here is what I wrote in The Sunday Telegraph fifteen years ago, certain aspects of which ring pathetically ironic now - like the Washington Post guy sucking up to the Commies about how China "is the best place in the world to be an American journalist": last week Beijing kicked the Post out of the country. Pretending, in the face of all the evidence, that this nation is a normal economic power like Germany or America has been deeply damaging, and may yet (virus-delivered or otherwise) prove fatal:

Seventy years ago, in the days of Fu Manchu and Charlie Chan, when the inscrutable Oriental had a powerful grip on Occidental culture, Erle Stanley Gardner wrote en passant in the course of a short story:

The Chinese of wealth always builds his house with a cunning simulation of external poverty. In the Orient one may look in vain for mansions, unless one has the entrée to private homes. The street entrances always give the impression of congestion and poverty, and the lines of architecture are carefully carried out so that no glimpse of the mansion itself is visible over the forbidding false front of what appears to be a squalid hovel.

Well, the mansion's pretty much out in the open now. Confucius say: If you got it, flaunt it, baby. China is the preferred vacation destination for middle-class Britons; western businessmen return cooing with admiration over the quality of the WiFi in the lobby Starbucks of their Guangzhou hotels; glittering skylines ascend ever higher from the coastal cities as fleets of BMWs cruise the upscale boutiques in the streets below.

The assumption that this will be the "Asian century" is so universal that Jacques Chirac (borrowing from Harold Macmillan vis-à-vis JFK) now promotes himself as Greece to Beijing's Rome, and the marginally less deranged of The Guardian's many Euro-fantasists excuse the EU's sclerosis on the grounds that no one could possibly compete with the unstoppable rise of a Chinese behemoth that by mid-century will have squashed America like the cockroach she is.

Even in the US, the cry is heard: Go east, young man! "If I were a young journalist today, figuring out where I should go to make my career, I would go to China," said Philip Bennett, The Washington Post's managing editor, in a fawning interview with The People's Daily in Beijing a few weeks back. "I think China is the best place in the world to be an American journalist right now."

Really? Tell it to Zhao Yan of The New York Times' Beijing bureau, who was arrested last September and has been held without trial ever since.

What we're seeing is an inversion of what Erle Stanley Gardner observed: a cunning simulation of external wealth and power that is, in fact, a forbidding false front for a state that remains a squalid hovel. Zhao of the Times is not alone in his fate: China jails more journalists than any other country in the world. Ching Cheong, a correspondent for The Straits Times of Singapore, disappeared in April..."...….

Well, Xi did promise "China First"!

Our hack journalists bray about a free press, but they’re not really free. They are slaves to their God: Left-wing politics. The Narrative Uber Alles. They like to set themselves up as the scolds, the experts and the voice of the people who hold everyone accountable–everyone but themselves. 

That's not cost-free. Nobody trusts their medical reporting because it's infected with politics. We are paying the price–a very, very high price–for their abdication of all professional standards and their dereliction of duty while they indulge in their self-absorbed obsession.

"They don’t want to report the news. They want to control it."

What if…?