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| With your MNN Anchorman Jim Pantzee (on other left) |
And now, from our Health Corree…Cores…Coresp… Reporter Lem A. Ricks:
There once was an IG named Grimm
Who leaked her report to get him
Changed the Whistleblower Thesis
To allow second-hand sneezes
And now all she has is her phlegm.
*In related news, Rep. Adam Schiff sent this "How dare you fire my spies!"-letter to Acting DNI Director Ric Grennell:
Dear Ric,
It smells like the left wing of the day of judgment. This whole act’s immutably decreed. ‘Twas rehearsed by thee and me a billion years before this ocean rolled. Fool! I am the Fates’ lieutenant; I act under orders.
Aye, harpoons do like stuck in him like so many corkscrews. Aye, his spout is big, like Nantucket wheat. Aye, by death and devils, the white whale is Moby-Dick, if Moby-Dick you see! It was Moby-Dick that dismantled me, that reaped off my leg like a mower a blade of grass and left me with this dead stump I stand on. For forever and a day I shall chase that orange whale. Did I say "orange"? I meant white. White whale.
Obsessively,
Little Adam Ahab
Director Grenell replies:
*Dr. Anecdotey Fauci, Director of Bill Gates' Palace O' Pain & Microchipped Vaccines, announced that from now on, no modeling predictions for any day will be released until one day afterwards.
"We think we can get to 100% accuracy that way," said the nation's essential guessworker.
And now, a word from our sponsor, Timothy Leary Capital:
"The mistake most investors make is not owning real gold or silver. We're so sure that silver is going up, that we won't even sell you any. That's right--We're keeping it all for ourselves because we're just that sure!"
* In an exclusive voicemail message interview, Bill Gates, whose slide from harmless computer geek to billionaire Bond villain was almost imperceptible, told Manufactured News: "Don't ever call my office again or I'll have you microchipped quicker than Paltrow's runaway pussycat at the Pacific Palisades animal shelter. *click*."
* MNN BREAKING: According to FEC records, Dr. Anthony Fauci's wife Christine Grady donated $1,200 to the Hillary Clinton campaign in 2016. Other records indicate that Dr. Fauci donated 17 million jobs in 2020. ...Dissimulating...
Dear Ric,
It smells like the left wing of the day of judgment. This whole act’s immutably decreed. ‘Twas rehearsed by thee and me a billion years before this ocean rolled. Fool! I am the Fates’ lieutenant; I act under orders.
Aye, harpoons do like stuck in him like so many corkscrews. Aye, his spout is big, like Nantucket wheat. Aye, by death and devils, the white whale is Moby-Dick, if Moby-Dick you see! It was Moby-Dick that dismantled me, that reaped off my leg like a mower a blade of grass and left me with this dead stump I stand on. For forever and a day I shall chase that orange whale. Did I say "orange"? I meant white. White whale.
Obsessively,
Little Adam Ahab
Director Grenell replies:
*Dr. Anecdotey Fauci, Director of Bill Gates' Palace O' Pain & Microchipped Vaccines, announced that from now on, no modeling predictions for any day will be released until one day afterwards.
"We think we can get to 100% accuracy that way," said the nation's essential guessworker.
And now, a word from our sponsor, Timothy Leary Capital:
"The mistake most investors make is not owning real gold or silver. We're so sure that silver is going up, that we won't even sell you any. That's right--We're keeping it all for ourselves because we're just that sure!"
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| “Overpopulation: Just Enough of Me, Way Too Much of You” –P.J. O’Rourke |
* In an exclusive voicemail message interview, Bill Gates, whose slide from harmless computer geek to billionaire Bond villain was almost imperceptible, told Manufactured News: "Don't ever call my office again or I'll have you microchipped quicker than Paltrow's runaway pussycat at the Pacific Palisades animal shelter. *click*."
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| Dr. Fauci at his weekend gig |
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| Dr. Birx and Dr. Fauci say: "Wash your stinking paws for a full 20 seconds, you damned dirty human!" |
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