Dear Blue State America;
I never thought I'd be writing this. Especially on Independence Day.
I know the Fourth of July is not a good time to bring this up. But this whole Brexit thing has me thinking. We both know something is wrong. Very wrong. And it has been for a long, long time.
I don't want you to blame yourself. It's not you--it's me.
Okay, it is you. And, really, I do want you to blame yourself. I do.
We're not the United States of America anymore. We're not really united. And it looks like we're never going to be united again. We were united after 9/11. For about ten minutes, until you discovered there was political advantage in running for the tall grass.
We're barely even states anymore, either. We're just administrative districts of the Federal Blob. That's exactly why Brexit voters voted to leave.
I'm not talking about a Revolution. Or a Civil War. Or Secession. And certainly not a new Confederacy. Hell no.
I'm talking about an American Brexit.
As Andy Jackson once said of the proto-secessionists “Tell them from me that they can talk and write resolutions and print threats till their heart’s content. But if one drop of blood be shed there in defiance of the laws of the United States, I will hang the first man of them I can get my hands on to the first tree I can find!"
I used to feel that way. But it illustrates our problem. You think Andy Jackson is a war criminal. We think he's an American hero. Maybe if we split, you could name your new country "Self-Esteemia" since you think you are so morally advanced, you can lecture people in the history books. We think we stand on their shoulders even if they were imperfect.
You want Jackson off the currency and another American hero, Miss Harriet Tubbman on it--at least until you realize she was a Jesus-loving gun-toting Republican, running her own underground Brexit in absolute defiance of the Supreme Court. Then you'll be off to Ethel Rosenberg. Except there is no 30 pieces of silver denomination to put her on. Yet.
So how about a friendly divorce?
Wait--don't just say "no" before you think about it. There's a lot in it for you.
You think our politicians are bigots, knuckle-dragging anti-science zealots, war-mongers and thieves.
And we think your politicians are anti-American Communists, criminal grifters, terrorist-enabling radicals and pervs. You would never have to live under a Republican administration again.
You could write your own new Constitution from scratch instead of scribbling on ours. You don't seem to care much for freedom of Religion, freedom of Speech, Due Process, Ex post Facto bans, Rights of the states and People, the right to bear Arms, Equal Protection, the A-man's-home-is-his-castle-Takings Clause doctrine or Checks and Balances anyway. So try your hand at writing your own Constitution, geniuses.
For example, you can ban all guns under your new Constitution. You can ban any dissent against your Weather Cult. You can dissolve your borders. You can legalize polygamy and chain marriage. You can have Brother Berkeley marry his Sister City of Ann Arbor for all we care. If you should find out baby parts work better than Botox or Viagra, you can make Fetal Flakes breakfast cereal out of babies and take your cannibalism straight up without a euphemism chaser.
Instead of having your judges illegitimately legislate from the bench, you could simply abolish your legislatures and let judges write all your laws!
You could finally impose that tax-rate you want. And don't stop at 90%--go the full Venezuela, a 100% tax rate--and you can enjoy the same prosperity, tranquility and dog-meat dinners as that socialist paradise now enjoys.
This idea doesn't make me happy, Blue State America. Losing the inheritance given to us by our parents is a horrible prospect. I'd hoped we could at least stay together for the kids.
But the Constitution is akin to a marriage covenant--and you've been cheating on us.
When you allow foreign nationals to vote in our elections in order to cancel out our votes, you're cheating on us.
When you have your judges invent and impose laws that you cannot pass at the ballot box, you're cheating on us.
When you hijack the schools and universities established, funded and attended by all of us in order to indoctrinate half of us, you are cheating on us.
We can take a bad law legitimately arrived at. But horrible laws, imposed illegitimately on an unwilling people are what Thomas Jefferson called " a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism." He said "it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."
I have mixed feelings myself, so I know you won't want to grant this divorce.
I mean, just look at the fury you directed at Great Britain for Brexiting. That was strictly a British decision and a European affair--but you want to boss everyone around, not just Americans.
It infuriates you, absolutely infuriates you, that someone, somewhere has slipped out from under the thumb of Statist bureaucrats and are just a little bit more free and prosperous tonight. So I know you won't willingly let us go.
But if you keep cheating, someday there may not be any earthly power that can stop it.
And I don't know if you can stop yourself from cheating. It's become an addiction with you.
Maybe Independence Day is the perfect time to talk about it after all. Call me.
And have a thoughtful 4th of July. I know I will.
Red State America