Thursday, June 30, 2016

Take a Letter, Sharia: Address it to the Climate

Say 'I won't be coming home. I've been sentenced to the Re-Education Camp.'

"Your Papers?" (Vee don't say "please" anymore--it confuses people zat zey have a choice.)

"Vee did not approve this fog in Washington--round up zee usual suspects! Say, Miss, zat's a lovely gas-guzzler you have zere. Perhaps it caused this weather. It vould be a shame if sumpzink happened to it...""


Ace of Spades:

Not remotely fascist.
"Democratic operatives responsible for creating their party’s platform this year have unanimously adopted a provision calling for the Department of Justice to investigate companies who disagree with Democrats on global warming science. A panel of Democrats voted Friday to approve a final draft of the party’s platform to promote “Progressive Democratic Values,” which apparently includes investigating energy companies who “misled” shareholders about global warming."


"Good Morning, Mr. Bunkerfunk--fill 'er up?"
"Umph."
"Nice weather we're having. Been like this all month, nice and cool."
"Hmmm."
"Check the oil for you?"
"(Harumph)..."
"I hear sirens, Mr. Bunkerfunk--I wonder what's going on?"
"I called the police on you, Goober. You're an oil company stooge. And saying the weather hasn't changed makes you a Climate Change Denier. And saying it's cool means you deny Global Warming!"
"But...but I was just making small talk!"
"There he is, officers--Get the Denier!"
"I was just trying to be friendly! Why the Thunderstorm troopers?"
"You talked about the Weather in Officially Unapproved Terms, Goober. We can't have that. From now on, you will clear all your remarks with the Ministry of Weather Truth first. Is that clear?"
"Clear, Mr. Bunkerfunk. With a chance of afternoon tyranny."
"Take him to the Democrat Climate Camps, officers. And let this be a lesson to you people:

 Keep your small talk to sex and religion--but don't joke about the Weather!"

"What's with these Democrats? Even Barney wouldn't arrest me for Thought Crimes against Gaia!"

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