Goodnight, Moonbat

"...but I don't wanna' go to bed!"

"C'mon, Christine; it's time for bed."

"Can't I stay up until the mid-terms are over, Mommy?"

"No, Christine. You need your sleep. You have school in the morning."

"I know--I'm the professor."

"Yes--and you need to be rested for a long day of bullying your conservative students.

How else will they ever learn about structural power imbalances?"

"That wasn't me. That was the other Professor Christine Ford from California."

"You're all giving professors a bad name. I heard a professor shot himself the other day to protest President Trump. But first he taped a twenty to the mirror to tip the janitor. What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"I hear you, Professor. They called me absent-minded, but at least I can remember what decade it is and what state I'm in."

"I know what you mean, professors. Between the Hawaii Judges and the Academia Nuts,  I don't like to tell people I was once president of Columbia University."

"Nevermind them, Christine. Now put on your pajamas and your Pussy Brain hat and let's go read your favorite bedtime story: "Where the Wild Things Are: The Supreme Court" by Prof. Anita Hill."

"But, Mommy--the FBI is coming to interview me. I told them to come around Halloween.

We'll have a tea party. I'll make them some tea, and then we can have a leisurely chat for a week or two about Where the Bad Man Touched Me(tm). Can't I just stay up 'til then?"

No, Princess. It's time for bed. Besides, you and Hillary can't keep using the FBI as your own personal Secret Police Force. Other people might need to use it, too. You know--to catch real criminals, not just your political enemies."

"You mean real criminals like Chinese spies? You wouldn't want me to ask them how somebody keeps a Chinese spy as office manager for twenty years, would you?"

"Okay, okay...you can stay up. But only through the mid-terms."

"Oh. thank you, Mommy! I can't wait to tell the FBI about how I was manipulated!

I wanna' be a Professional Victim when I grow up!"

(*knock*knock*) "I think the FBI is here, Princess..."

"Sorry, Agent Baer; she says she won't testify until it's "just right"."

"'...and they all lived miserably ever after!'

...Is there some gin around here?"