(Scene: Somewhere in Dearbornistan…)
“This is Red Dragon to Yankee Panda, Red Dragon to Yankee Panda, come in, Agent Amash.
Your mission, Justin, which you chose to accept years ago, is this:
Party Headquarters wishes you to implement Operation: Orange Peach Mint. Repeat, implement Operation: Orange Peach Mint at once if you ever want to import another “Michigan Tool” to Detroit. And this time, try to make it look like principled opposition instead of what it really i$.
Be sure to claim that your opinions are Made In the USA...just like you claimed about your Chinese products!
As always, should you or any of your Unpayable Tariff Team be caught or un-bought, the Party Secretary will disavow any knowledge. This unchallenged and unfair advantage we have purchased from American lawmakers for the last 30 years will Orange-destruct in five seconds. This is Red Dragon, out.”
Your mission, Justin, which you chose to accept years ago, is this:
Party Headquarters wishes you to implement Operation: Orange Peach Mint. Repeat, implement Operation: Orange Peach Mint at once if you ever want to import another “Michigan Tool” to Detroit. And this time, try to make it look like principled opposition instead of what it really i$.
Be sure to claim that your opinions are Made In the USA...just like you claimed about your Chinese products!
As always, should you or any of your Unpayable Tariff Team be caught or un-bought, the Party Secretary will disavow any knowledge. This unchallenged and unfair advantage we have purchased from American lawmakers for the last 30 years will Orange-destruct in five seconds. This is Red Dragon, out.”
No comments:
Post a Comment