POPPING NOW...
THE ADMINISTRATION URGES PUBLIC CALM AS IT DISPATCHES ILLEGAL ALIEN CARAVANS AND CHINESE SPY BALLOONS TO LOCATE MISSING F-35 BEFORE IRATE CITIZENS FIND IT
MEANWHILE, THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT PROMISES TO RETURN IT WHEN THEY'RE DONE WITH IT.
THE AIRPLANE AND THE PRESIDENCY.
UPDATE: ZELENSKY HAS PLEDGED TO PROVIDE THE US WITH ALL THE F-35s IT NEEDS.
FOR A NOMINAL FEE.
In Other News, Hunter Biden is suing the IRS on the grounds that Everybody Knows(tm) Bribes are not taxable under the IRS Code.
And the Federal Bureau of Prisons is dispatching their video expert Bill "Bondo" Barr to DC to find out why movie theater surveillance cameras work so much better than theirs.
#EpsteinDidn'tMakeItToIntermission
Homeland Security pinky-swears that they will not use AI to Improperly Spy on Americans and Rig Elections. Only Properly.
Their word as a Biden.
BRAKING UPDATE: FOX'S DECISION DESK CALLS THE IOWA REPUBLICAN PRIMARY FOR PETE BUTTIGIEG
Manufactured News Network: "51 Current and Former Artificial Intelligence Officials Say This Government Bears All the Hallmarks of Being a Deep Fake Itself!"
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