BREAKING NOW...
* CARNEY SAYS HE WILL PROTECT CANADIAN AUTO INDUSTRY JOBS FROM DICTATOR TRUMP BY BUILDING TANKS FOR THE CHINESE FIELD ARMY STATIONED IN HIS COUNTRY
 |
| Blazing Cat Fur |
* PRESIDENT TRUMP LEADING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE POLLS FOR NEXT GOLDEN POPE
 |
CARDINAL BOASBERG HAS ISSUED A TRO, aka TEMPORARY REFORMATION OBJECTION
* BASEBALL COMMISSIONER JIM "BUGSY" BOASBERG HAS POSTHUMOUSLY AWARDED THE PRESTIGIOUS CY DURBIN AWARD TO BALLFEILD SHOOTER JAMES HODGKINSON FOR "BEING OUR TEAM'S BEST HEAVY HITTER, AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE TIME THE FBI SHOT ALL THOSE PEOPLE AT MANDALAY BAY"
 |
| Pictured here: Baseball legend Cy Durbin tries out for Hank Aaron's roster spot after killing him by injection |
* COXWAIN/COMMODORE AND CO-PRESIDENT JAMES E. BOASBERG HAS ORDERED ANOTHER F/A-18 SUPER HORNET TOSSED OFF OF DECK OF THE USS HARRY TRUMAN AS IS HIS HABIT
"COXEY" BOASBERG SAYS THE WEEKLY DEFENESTRATIONS "WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES AND CO-PRESIDENT TRUMP STOPS ORDERING ATTACKS ON OUR BELOVED HOUTHI ALLIES"
IT IS WIDELY SUSPECTED THE ROGUE OFFICER IS TAKING ORDERS FROM A CABAL OF UNNAMED CONSPIRITORS INCLUDING THE MYSTERIOUS "BARRY OF ARABIA" |
| “…wut?” |
* JUDGE BOASBERG RULES SOVEREIGNTY MUST TURN AROUND IN MID-RACE AND DECLARES JOURNALISM IS THE NEW KENTUCKY DERBY WINNER DESPITE HIS TRACK RECORD AS A WIFE-BEATING DRUG MULE
Pictured here: Journalism proudly displays the MS-13 tattoo on his hoof |
Manufactured News Network: "His Fodder Was a Mudder!"
No comments:
Post a Comment