Friday, August 29, 2025

MNN Special Report: Un-United Kingdom Edition

MNN BREAKING...

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* 14-YEAR-OLD SCOTTISH GIRL DOES MORE TO STAND UP TO MUSLIM RAPE GANGS IN TWENTY MINUTES THAN THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT DID IN TWENTY YEARS

TO HONOR HER COURAGE, SHE WAS ARRESTED FOR BRANDISHING WHILE HER ATTACKERS WILL BE GIVEN KNIGHTHOODS AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE

"IF THEY'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE ROYALTY, THEY MIGHT AS WELL BE ROYALTY" SAID KING CHARLES, WHOSE ONLY KNOWN ACCOMPLISHMENT WAS HAVING HIS MUM VAXXED TO DEATH SO HE COULD ASSUME THE THRONE

SCOTTISH AUTHORITIES CHARGED THE GIRL WITH "UNLAWFULLY RESISTING THE ADVANCES OF AN AMOROUS PAKISTANI" SAYING "TODAY WE ARRESTED A 14-YEAR-OLD MENACE, BUT SOMEDAY WE HOPE TO WORK OUR WAY UP TO ARRESTING 4-YEAR-OLDS."

* IN OTHER NEWS, UKRAINE ANNOUNCED IT WILL BE DRAFTING TEENAGE SCOTTISH GIRLS

"I CAN'T SPARE THEM; THEY FIGHT," SAID PROXY DICTATOR Z-BAG FROM HIS PRESIDENTIAL VILLA ON THE RIVIERA NAMED "USAID"

* AND IN AMERICA, IN AN EFFORT TO WIN BACK CUSTOMERS, CRACKER BARREL WILL HAND OUT COMPLEMENTARY BUD LIGHTS

Manufactured News Network: “All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.”--Churchill

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