MNN BREAKING...
* REP. SALAZAR NAMES HER AMNESTY BILL "DIGNIDAD" BECAUSE THE NAME "MARYLAND DAD" WAS ALREADY TAKEN
* THE AMERICAN PRESS HAS ISSUED THEIR WISE AND BALANCED TEN-POINT CEASEFIRE PLAN FOR THE IRAN/AMERICA CONFLICT AS THE CONSTITUTION REQUIRES, AND URGES ALL PARTIES TO ADOPT IT AT ONCE
* FEDS ARRREST ARMENIAN MOBSTER FOR RECRUITING HEALTHY FOR HOSPICE FRAUD AFTER NOTICING HIS L.A. BILLBOARD: “YOU’RE DEAD TO ME… CALL NOW!”
HOWEVER, JUDGE BOASBERG ORDERED ALL CHARGES DROPPED, CITING CALIFORNIA’S FAMOUS ANTI-ARMENIAN BIAS, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE CAN FIND IT ON A MAP
* AFTER PROTESTS BREAK OUT AGAINST A KANYE WEST CONCERT IN ENGLAND, THE RAPPER CHANGES HIS NAME TO “PAKISTANI RAPE GANG” TO EASE OPPOSITION
* NEWSOM AND BASS LAUNCH NEW PLAN TO END CALIFORNIA HOMELESSNESS BY TEACHING HOMELESS HOW TO COMMIT DAYCARE FRAUD, HOSPICE FRAUD, MEDICAL TRANSPORT FRAUD, AUTISM TREATMENT FRAUD AND HOME HEALTH CARE FRAUD
OR TENT HEALTH CARE FRAUD, AS THE CASE MAY BE
* AFTER PRE-TRIAL CONFERENCE WITH A PAUL RYAN OF FOX'S DECISION DESK, JUDGE BOASBERG HAS DECLARED FANG FANG THE WINNER OF CALIFORNIA'S GOVERNOR'S RACE
ELECTION LATER
MNN BREAKING UPDATE...
* POLICE ARE ASKING FOR YOUR HELP IN LOCATING A FOREIGN-BORN BUS DRIVER BELIEVED TO HAVE FLED THE SCENE AFTER RUNNING OVER LOCAL D.C. MAN ERIC SWALWELL
AND NOW, AN MNN LEGAL MINUTE...
* JUSTICE JUMANJI HAS RECONSIDERED AND NOW SAYS IF YOU STEAL A WALLET IN JAPAN, YOU ARE NO LONGER UNDOCUMENTED!
THE LOGIC IS IMPECCABLE
* IN OTHER ELECTION NEWS FROM AROUND THE GLOBALISTS, NOTED SOCIOPATH AND VIRGINIA GOVERNOR ABIGAIL SPANBERGER SAYS PM ORBAN'S OPPONENT PETER MAGYAR SHOULD CARRY NORTHERN VIRGINIA EASILY AFTER THE DEEP STATE GUN MOLL SENT HIM THE CIA THUMB DRIVE USED TO INSTALL HER INTO OFFICE
"WE'RE ALL COUNTING ON YOU," JOKED THE CHIEF EXECUTIVE ASSASSINATION GROUPIE, FOLLOWED BY PEALS OF MANIACAL LAUGHTER
MNN ELECTIONISH UPDATE:
* PM ORBAN LOSES TO FRESH FACE IN HUNGARIAN POLITICS BY 81 MILLION VOTES
AFTER ICE CREAM AND NAPS, BIDEN WILL BE INFORMED HE IS HUNGARY’S NEXT LEADER
PROBABLY
UPDATED UPDATE:
BIDEN CREDITS HIS HUNGARIAN ELECTION VICTORY TO THE VOTERS OF NORTHERN VIRGINIA, ESPECIALLY THOSE AROUND LANGLEY, AND ORDERS HUNGARIAN ARMED FORCES TO BOMB NORDSTREAM PIPELINE AGAIN
WELL, SONOFABITCH
Manufactured News Network: "Is There Any Other Kind?"
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