MNN BREAKING...
* REP. SALAZAR NAMES HER AMNESTY BILL "DIGNIDAD" BECAUSE THE NAME "MARYLAND DAD" WAS ALREADY TAKEN
* THE AMERICAN PRESS HAS ISSUED THEIR WISE AND BALANCED TEN-POINT CEASEFIRE PLAN FOR THE IRAN/AMERICA CONFLICT AS THE CONSTITUTION REQUIRES, AND URGES ALL PARTIES TO ADOPT IT AT ONCE
* FEDS ARRREST ARMENIAN MOBSTER FOR RECRUITING HEALTHY FOR HOSPICE FRAUD AFTER NOTICING HIS L.A. BILLBOARD: “YOU’RE DEAD TO ME… CALL NOW!”
HOWEVER, JUDGE BOASBERG ORDERED ALL CHARGES DROPPED, CITING CALIFORNIA’S FAMOUS ANTI-ARMENIAN BIAS, EVEN THOUGH NO ONE CAN FIND IT ON A MAP
* AFTER PROTESTS BREAK OUT AGAINST A KANYE WEST CONCERT IN ENGLAND, THE RAPPER CHANGES HIS NAME TO “PAKISTANI RAPE GANG” TO EASE OPPOSITION
* NEWSOM AND BASS LAUNCH NEW PLAN TO END CALIFORNIA HOMELESSNESS BY TEACHING HOMELESS HOW TO COMMIT DAYCARE FRAUD, HOSPICE FRAUD, MEDICAL TRANSPORT FRAUD, AUTISM TREATMENT FRAUD AND HOME HEALTH CARE FRAUD
OR TENT HEALTH CARE FRAUD, AS MAY BE THE CASE
* AFTER PRE-TRIAL CONFERENCE WITH A PAUL RYAN OF FOX'S DECISION DESK, JUDGE BOASBERG HAS DECLARED FANG FANG THE WINNER OF CALIFORNIA'S GOVERNOR'S RACE
ELECTION LATER
Manufactured News Network: "Is There Any Other Kind?"
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