Saturday, September 10, 2016

A Little Ms. Education Goes a Long Way: Big Myn On Campus


*"Trans-Critical Riffing and Post-Marxist Music Deconstruction in Ancient Greece 101"
 Course taught by Professor S. Bishop, OAOIMBY
Open Blogger: "You Want Insanity? Here It Is!

Vanderbilt U. now completely obsessed with gender pronouns 

...Maybe it's time to admit our failures and push for useful a BS in Espresso Pulling, or an MA in Latte Decoration with a Cappuccino minor." ..................

Good idea. Ya' know, we used to put men on the moon. Now they want to ban saying "men on the moon". Because...Progress! Please allow me to assist with the critical curriculum choices.

The Wheels on the Short Syllabus Go 'Round and 'Round:

*"If the Hegelian Dialectic Holds: Lesbian Novels Since 10 am This Morning"
*"Defining Employment Downish: If We Didn't Call Our Pet Lifestyles "Education" And Waste Your Parents' Money, We'd Be On the Basement Couch Just Like You're Going To Be."
*"Navel Gazing: Feminist Perspectives on Feminist Perspectives"
*"Foucaultian Power Structures: That's Not Funny! And That's Not My Navel, Either!"
*"Authentic Native Peoples Viewpoints: Ward Churchill, Elizabeth Warren and the Crying Indian Guy Take Peyote and Babble for an Entire Semester You'll Never Get Back"
*"The New Free Speech Paradigm: Forcing Others at Gunpoint to Use Words We Just Invented Last Week and Barely Remember Ourselves--Or Else!"
*"Nabakov Reconsidered & Hitting On the Freshmen Class: It's Okay When We Do It. And When We Say "Freshmen"."
*"My Cushy Tenure Taboo: We Can Talk About Dildos All Day Long But Some Subjects Are Strictly Off-Limits"
*"Critical Gender Mass and The ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ-Community: More Genders Than Letters in the Alphabet!"

Prof. Bluto standing on the the Bill Clinton Endowed Chair outside the Woman Studies Dorm
And then there's Prof. Ima Truther of the Gender and Censorship Studies Dept., ripping down 9/11 Commemoration posters.

Ostensibly, she's teaching Gender Studies, but she's really just teaching her lifestyle: How to be a Purple-Haired, Man-Hating, America-Blaming, Book-Burner with Unresolved Daddy Issues, Outdated Shoes and a Bad Haircut.

Human Rights Offense: "I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired."
Verdict: Guilty as Charged--maybe guiltier
Sentence: Must attend Mandatory Blue Studies
It would be just as intellectually honest and much more fun to hire Larry the Cable Guy to teach Redneck Studies, with a syllabus including:

*"Towards a Trans-Nobel Intra-Species Critique on Bass Fishin': Lures, Worms or Dynamite?"
*"The Phallus: Why My Huntin' Dog Bo is Humpin' Yer Leg? Hint--Would it Kill Ya' to Shave Once in a While?"
*"Nonviolent Responses to the Terrorist Who Ate the Last Hushpuppy"
*"Queer Musicology: How Did Elton John's 'Madman Across the Water' 8-Track Get Stuck in My '72 Trans Am?"

"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl harbor?
Was it over when Roy Rogers' horse was stuffed without a Trigger Warning? Hell, no!"

(With apologies to John B.--I owed you one.)

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