Saturday, September 24, 2016

Debate Prep School Days of Rage Against the Machine Gun Control Room Mates

"Make America Great Again" vs. "Make Iranians Great Again"

"Why am I not 150 points ahead? I paid for it!"
"Wake up, ma'am--there's still an hour of debate left to go! Ma'am...
She was so busy getting immunity for all her aides, she forgot her own..."
Longtime Clinton aide Philippe Reines will play the part of Donald Trump in Hillary's debate prep.
The part of the EMT will be played by the homophobe xenophobe Islamophobe
germophobe Howie Mandel.
"The presidential debate commission settled an early flashpoint when Clinton demanded a step-stool at the podium to add height to her 5'4" frame. Campaign Chairman John Podesta expressed concern that Hillary would be dwarfed by 6'2" Trump.
The request was quickly rejected.
The commission is allowing for a custom-made podium, which will accommodate the difference in stature." ........

She gets to stand on some phone books, which will come in handy in case she needs to use her phone-a-friend phone-a-donor lifeline.
"Is that your final answer to the revised version of the updated explanation to your immunized email testimony?"
Hillary does have one advantage; she can name the leaders of Felchistan, Laurelstan, Musialstan and Kowalskistan--but only because they all bought Uranium Deals from her at State.

"The debate is at Hofstra University? I thought they said 'Hoffa University'!"
She never forgets a name. On a check.

Or the pseudonyms Obama uses on her private email server which he never heard of:

Steve Kroft: "Did you know about Hillary Clinton's private e-mail server..."
PinocchioFanboy: "No."
Kroft: "...when she was Secretary of State?"
PantsFire44: "No."
Kroft: "So this email from "Tehran Houseboy"--that's not you?"

Barack "BurgerKing16" Obama shares this open-faced Whopper with CBS News' Bill Plante:
"I learned about it the same time that everybody else learned it, through news reports."

Hiz Liarness' other server-sox:

Borderless Barry
Doc Dumps
A. Leppo
Icy BMs 4 Iran
Mr. MomJeans
The Jolly Unicorn Rancher
Somali Phats

At his recent 'Drag Her Across the Finish Line'-speech, Obama bragged that he had finally created a handful of jobs in the final weeks of his preznitcy. Unfortunately, they were all migrant riot-worker jobs. It's low-paying, but you can always loot some tvs out of the back of a truck down on the interstate.

"Did she say she needs to adjust her podium or Imodium?"

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