Thursday, May 20, 2021

MNN Breaking News Update

FROM MNN BREAKING… Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot announced that from now on, she will only allow herself to be interviewed by Cleopatra, Johnny Depp, Beetlejuice and feral raccoons. No reason.

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(Albany, NY) FBI Says No Charges For Cuomo For Giving Special COVID Treatment To His Family Because He Also Gave Special Treatment To Your Grandparents in the COVID Camps.

(New London, CT) Needing the use of the Oval Office desk, Acting President Obama dispatched Pervy Joe to a playdate at the Coast Guard Academy. Despite being a lifelong professional plagiarist, Biden mangled a stolen Reagan punchline and then insulted the young patriots there for not laughing. Also becuse they know he's not president. 

In fairness, though, Joe nailed the famous Chairman Mao quote: "Biden is asshoe."

I quote from memory.

In other news, Fox's Decision Desk is ready to call the 2022 Election Results and the Carters have returned to normal size.

Manufactured News Network: “They Warned Us If President Trump Won Re-Election, There Would Be Mid-East Conflict, A Chinese Bio-War, An Energy Crisis, Unemployment, Dictators Running Wild and an American Police State…And They Were Right!”

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