Rest in the Vine: MNN's Court Reporter

Tuesday, September 15, 2026

MNN's Court Reporter

MNN BREAKING...

* CHIEF JUSTICE JOHNNY "CARTEL" ROBERTS HAS RELEASED "HIS" OPINION IN THE POST OFFICE MAIL-IN BALLOT CASE, "SWAMP vs. AMERICA":

"I HAVE BEEN AUTHORIZED BY JUDGE BOASBERG OF THE CIA'S NIGHT COURT DIVISION TO TELL YOU THAT CITIZENS HAVE NO STANDING TO QUESTION ELECTION RESULTS OR CHANGE ELECTION PROCEDURES THROUGH THEIR DULY THREE-ELECTED PRESIDENT.

WHILE WE WERE ABLE TO CHANGE ELECTION PROCEDURES OVERNIGHT WITHOUT DISRUPTION DURING THE PLANDEMIC, IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THEM BACK, WE WILL REQUIRE A 75-YEAR ADVANCE NOTICE--YOU KNOW, LIKE PFIZER RESULTS.

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF JUSTICE SOUTER... JUST KIDDING! THERE ARE NO IMMORTAL WORDS OF JUSTICE SOUTER--UNLESS YOU COUNT HIS LETTER OF RESIGNATION.

BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS, YOUR CEASELESS MEDDLING WITH ELECTION INTEGRITY MEASURES ARE EXTREMELY DISRUPTIVE TO THE ELECTION FRAUD-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX WE HAVE SO PAINSTAKINGLY CURATED. SIMPLY REST ASSURED THAT BIG ELECTION HAS WISELY AND LOVINGLY SELECTED YOUR WINNING CANDIDATES TO SPARE YOU THE TROUBLE AND EXPENSE.

WE DID IT FOR YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

THEREFORE, BY THE SUPREME POWER THAT THE CONSTITUTION VESTS IN THE CIA, YOU RABBLE ARE COMMANDED TO CEASE INTERLOPING IN OUR ELECTIONS.

YOU WILL BE INFORMED.

NOW MOVE ALONG, RIFF-RAFF.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

--CHIEF JUSTICE JOHNNY CARTEL, WRITING FOR THE MAJORITY, ET AL, QUO VADIS, PER CURIAM, MEA CULPA, IPSO FACTO, ET CETERA"

("Oh, no--here he comes again... How does he do it?... He has the energy of politicians on adrenochrome half his age... Can suddenly sense... my own... adrenochrome levels fading... Must... fight... through it!")

Manufactured News Network: "Brought to You by PfizerBrand(tm) Blood Clots--Lovingly Hand-Crafted in Small Batches and Assembled in Your Body by Our Own Graphene Nano-Bots!"

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Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. 2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” 3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence. 4 He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. 5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, 6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, And ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you. 8 Only with your eyes shall you look, And see the reward of the wicked. 9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, Even the Most High, your dwelling place, 10 No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; 11 For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways. 12 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot. 14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. 15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”

The Prodigy

“…What has America done for the benefit of mankind? Let our answer be this: America, with the same voice which spoke herself into existence as a nation, proclaimed to mankind the inextinguishable rights of human nature, and the only lawful foundations of government. She has, in the lapse of nearly half a century, without a single exception, respected the independence of other nations while asserting and maintaining her own. She has abstained from interference in the concerns of others, even when conflict has been for principles to which she clings, as to the last vital drop that visits the heart. Wherever the standard of freedom and Independence has been or shall be unfurled, there will her heart, her benedictions and her prayers be. But she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own. She well knows that by once enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication, in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy, and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standard of freedom. The fundamental maxims of her policy would insensibly change from liberty to force…. She might become the dictatress of the world. She would be no longer the ruler of her own spirit…. Her glory is not dominion, but liberty. Her march is the march of the mind. She has a spear and a shield: but the motto upon her shield is, Freedom, Independence, Peace.”--John Quincy Adams on the foundation of American Foreign Policy, 1821

Tuesday, September 15, 2026

MNN's Court Reporter

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