Debate Prep School Days of Rage Against the Machine Gun Control Room Mates

"Make America Great Again" vs. "Make Iranians Great Again"

"Why am I not 150 points ahead? I paid for it!"

"Wake up, ma'am--there's still an hour of debate left to go! Ma'am...
She was so busy getting immunity for all her aides, she forgot her own..."

Longtime Clinton aide Philippe Reines will play the part of Donald Trump in Hillary's debate prep.

The part of the EMT will be played by the homophobe xenophobe Islamophobe
germophobe Howie Mandel.

Withering Heights:

"The presidential debate commission settled an early flashpoint when Clinton demanded a step-stool at the podium to add height to her 5'4" frame. Campaign Chairman John Podesta expressed concern that Hillary would be dwarfed by 6'2" Trump.
 
The request was quickly rejected.
 
The commission is allowing for a custom-made podium, which will accommodate the difference in stature." ........

She gets to stand on some phone books, which will come in handy in case she needs to use her phone-a-friend phone-a-donor lifeline.

"Is that your final answer to the revised version of the updated explanation to your immunized email testimony?"

Hillary does have one advantage; she can name the leaders of Felchistan, Laurelstan, Musialstan and Kowalskistan--but only because they all bought Uranium Deals from her at State.


"The debate is at Hofstra University? I thought they said 'Hoffa University'!"

She never forgets a name. On a check.

Or the pseudonyms Obama uses on her private email server which he never heard of:

Steve Kroft: "Did you know about Hillary Clinton's private e-mail server..."
PinocchioFanboy: "No."
Kroft: "...when she was Secretary of State?"
PantsFire44: "No."
Kroft: "So this email from "Tehran Houseboy"--that's not you?"

Barack "BurgerKing16" Obama shares this open-faced Whopper with CBS News' Bill Plante:
"I learned about it the same time that everybody else learned it, through news reports."

Hiz Liarness' other server-sox:

Ran$omRandy400m
MuazzinBeauty
Borderless Barry
OhCheCanUC
Doc Dumps
PersianDoormat
RedNovemberHunter
A. Leppo
"Larry"
Icy BMs 4 Iran
Mr. MomJeans
WeWillBarryYou
MagnaJakarta
The Jolly Unicorn Rancher
Somali Phats

At his recent 'Drag Her Across the Finish Line'-speech, Obama bragged that he had finally created a handful of jobs in the final weeks of his preznitcy. Unfortunately, they were all migrant riot-worker jobs. It's low-paying, but you can always loot some tvs out of the back of a truck down on the interstate.

"Did she say she needs to adjust her podium or Imodium?"

The Good News

1 Chronicles 4:9-11   English Standard Version Bible
 

^9 "Jabez was more honorable than his brothers; and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.”^{[a] 10} Jabez called upon the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm^[b] so that it might not bring me pain!” And God granted what he asked."

Call now!

Ted's On the Team: 'Join or Die'

"The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there."--L.P. Hartley

 

Our own country's past has become a foreign to us--that must change.

"Well, Doctor, what have we got; a republic or a monarchy?"--Mrs. Powell of Philadelphia
"A republic, Madame--if you can keep it."--Benjamin Franklin

And those are the very stakes we face today.

 

Ted Cruz:

"This election is unlike any other in our nation’s history. Like many other voters, I have struggled to determine the right course of action in this general election.

In Cleveland, I urged voters, “please, don’t stay home in November. Stand, and speak, and vote your conscience, vote for candidates up and down the ticket whom you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the Constitution.”

After many months of careful consideration, of prayer and searching my own conscience, I have decided that on Election Day, I will vote for the Republican nominee, Donald Trump.

I’ve made this decision for two reasons. First, last year, I promised to support the Republican nominee. And I intend to keep my word.

Second, even though I have had areas of significant disagreement with our nominee, by any measure Hillary Clinton is wholly unacceptable — that’s why I have always been #NeverHillary.

Six key policy differences inform my decision. First, and most important, the Supreme Court. For anyone concerned about the Bill of Rights — free speech, religious liberty, the Second Amendment — the Court hangs in the balance. I have spent my professional career fighting before the Court to defend the Constitution. We are only one justice away from losing our most basic rights, and the next president will appoint as many as four new justices. We know, without a doubt, that every Clinton appointee would be a left-wing ideologue. Trump, in contrast, has promised to appoint justices “in the mold of Scalia.”

For some time, I have been seeking greater specificity on this issue, and today the Trump campaign provided that, releasing a very strong list of potential Supreme Court nominees — including Sen. Mike Lee, who would make an extraordinary justice — and making an explicit commitment to nominate only from that list. This commitment matters, and it provides a serious reason for voters to choose to support Trump.

Second, Obamacare. The failed healthcare law is hurting millions of Americans. If Republicans hold Congress, leadership has committed to passing legislation repealing Obamacare. Clinton, we know beyond a shadow of doubt, would veto that legislation. Trump has said he would sign it.

Third, energy. Clinton would continue the Obama administration’s war on coal and relentless efforts to crush the oil and gas industry. Trump has said he will reduce regulations and allow the blossoming American energy renaissance to create millions of new high-paying jobs.

Fourth, immigration. Clinton would continue and even expand President Obama’s lawless executive amnesty. Trump has promised that he would revoke those illegal executive orders.

Fifth, national security. Clinton would continue the Obama administration’s willful blindness to radical Islamic terrorism. She would continue importing Middle Eastern refugees whom the FBI cannot vet to make sure they are not terrorists. Trump has promised to stop the deluge of unvetted refugees.

Sixth, Internet freedom. Clinton supports Obama’s plan to hand over control of the Internet to an international community of stakeholders, including Russia, China, and Iran. Just this week, Trump came out strongly against that plan, and in support of free speech online.

These are six vital issues where the candidates’ positions present a clear choice for the American people.

If Clinton wins, we know — with 100% certainty — that she would deliver on her left-wing promises, with devastating results for our country.

My conscience tells me I must do whatever I can to stop that.

We also have seen, over the past few weeks and months, a Trump campaign focusing more and more on freedom — including emphasizing school choice and the power of economic growth to lift African-Americans and Hispanics to prosperity.

Finally, after eight years of a lawless Obama administration, targeting and persecuting those disfavored by the administration, fidelity to the rule of law has never been more important.

The Supreme Court will be critical in preserving the rule of law. And, if the next administration fails to honor the Constitution and Bill of Rights, then I hope that Republicans and Democrats will stand united in protecting our fundamental liberties.

Our country is in crisis. Hillary Clinton is manifestly unfit to be president, and her policies would harm millions of Americans. And Donald Trump is the only thing standing in her way.

A year ago, I pledged to endorse the Republican nominee, and I am honoring that commitment. And if you don’t want to see a Hillary Clinton presidency, I encourage you to vote for him." ...........

I will vote for Trump. And so will anybody who gives a damn about what's left of this country.

'The past is never dead. It's not even past.'--Faulkner

Thanks for putting America first, Ted. I know it must have been tough after some of the personal stuff. I don't know if I could have done it--but I'm glad Sen. Cruz can. It was also good to see Donald Trump recently call for a tough Cuba policy and for closing the EPA and the Dept. of MisEducation--all Cruz signature positions.  

"There--I guess King George will be able to read that!"

But Senator Cruz also spoke more profoundly of our history and our foundations in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, free speech, religious liberty and the right of the People to keep and bear arms--America's Signature Issues. Everything we've been heirs to is on the line. Now is the hour: "All Hands on Deck!"

"I shall never prove a traitor to my country."
"Our country asserts for itself the glory of being the freest upon the surface of the globe."--James Forten

Like the good Doctor said so long ago: "We  must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately." We see a Death-Wish Democrat Party funding terrorist nations overseas, bringing terrorists to America, handcuffing law enforcement, causing military aircraft to crash through malicious neglect, fomenting riots and coddling criminals while disarming citizens--there is more than one way to "hang separately". Hanging together--Unity--is imperative in this revolution just as it was in those previous days.

Mr. Trump: "I am greatly honored by the endorsement of Senator Cruz. We have fought the battle and he was a tough and brilliant opponent. I look forward to working with him for many years to come in order to make America great again."

Your Revolutionary Battle Beckons
...and it beckons today.

 

Publius Redux: Passenger Revolt at Your Cockpit Door

"[T]he Declaration of Independence, with its boldly spoken truths, could only have been uttered successfully among a community of people who had been prepared, over centuries, to possess the ears to hear such things."--James Poulos
"Honey, I forgot to redux!"--Ronald Reagan

The Price of Forgetting

Publius Decius Mus' excellent "Flight 93 Election" has hit some turbulence. Let's roll:

"Some also complained about the aptness of the analogy: the plane crashed! Well, yes, and this one might too. Then again, it might not. It depends in part on what action the electorate chooses to take. The passengers of Flight 93 roused themselves. They succeeded insofar as that plane did not hit its intended target. The temptation not to rouse oneself in a time of great peril is always strong. In another respect, the analogy is even more apt. All of the passengers on Flight 93—and all of the victims at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon—died owing in part to a disastrously broken immigration system that didn’t then and still doesn’t serve the interests of the American people. Which also happens to be the core issue at stake in this election. ...

Meanwhile, the much stronger Ryan wing of the Party actively abets the administrative state and works to further the managerial class agenda.
Trump is the first candidate since Reagan to threaten this arrangement. [T]he question here is: who rules? The many or the few? The people or the oligarchs? Our Constitution says: the people are sovereign, and their rule is mediated through representative institutions, limited by written Constitutional norms. The administrative state says: experts must rule because various advances (the march of history) have made governing too complicated for public deliberation, and besides, the unwise people often lack knowledge of their own best interests even on rudimentary matters. ...

Trump is mounting the first serious national-political defense of the Constitution in a generation. He may not see himself in those terms. I believe he sees himself as a straightforward patriot who just wants to do what is best for his country and its people. Whatever the case, he is asserting the right of the sovereign people to make their government do what they want it to do, and not do things they don’t want it to do, in the teeth of determined opposition from a managerial class and administrative state that want not merely different policies but above all to perpetuate their own rule. ...

All this happened because, for more than a century, the Left has been working at best to “change” and “update” the Constitution, and at worst to ignore it or get around it. This agenda is not hidden but announced and boasted of. Yet when someone on the Right points out that the Constitution—by design—no longer works as designed, that the U.S. government does not in practice function as a Constitutional republic, we are lambasted as “authoritarian.”
That’s a malicious lie. The truth is that the Left pushed and dragged us here. You wanted this. We didn’t. You didn’t like the original Constitution. We did and do. You didn’t want it to operate as designed because when it does it too often prevents you from doing what you want to do. ...

I differ in no respect from my conservative brethren in my reverence for constitutional government in general or for the United States Constitution in particular. No respect, it seems, but one. They seem to think we are one election away from turning everything around—only, you know, not 2016, but the next one when we can run Cruz. Whereas I fear we are one election away from losing the last vestiges forever. ...

If Hillary wins, there will still be a country, in the sense of a geographic territory with a people, a government, and various institutions. ...The country will go on, but it will not be a constitutional republic. It will be a blue state on a national scale. Only one party will really matter. A Republican may win now and again—once in a generation, perhaps—but only a neutered one who has “updated”...

For the rest of you—flyover people—the decline will continue. But things are pretty bad now, yet you can still eat and most of you have cars, flat screens, and air conditioners. So what are you complaining about?
Keep in mind, this is the best case scenario. Which leaves open the larger questions raised in the prior essay that gave so many the vapors: how long could that possibly last? And what follows when it ends? ...
Conservatism had a project for national renewal that it failed to implement, while the Left made—and still makes—gain after gain after gain. Consider conservatism’s aims: “civic renewal,” “federalism,” “originalism,” “morality and family values,” “small government,” “limited government,” “Judeo-Christian values,” “strong national defense,” “respect among nations,” “economic freedom,” “an expanding pie,” “the American dream.” I support all of that. And all of it has been in retreat for 30 years. At least. But conservatism cannot admit as much, not even to itself, in the middle of the night with the door closed, the lights out and no one listening.

I tried to tell it, and it got mad." .........................

With a food-cart chaser right down the center aisle:

"As for my alleged counsel of despair, I said precisely the opposite. I offered an exhortation to do something: vote for a man who promises to protect the interests of the lower, working and middle classes, and reassert control over our government so that republicanism may live.
...Here, again, is “conservative” idealism in all its rootless abstraction. Trump and his voters have risen to defend the actual, physical America and its actual, physical people. This is anathema to the managerial class for which Gerson is a spokesman.
...I admit to being a little nostalgic. My defense is that I prefer the good to the bad and America is in many respects worse today than it was in the past. It also appears to be in decline. I would like to see that reversed, and I believe it is possible to do so, by making the right political decisions through proper Constitutional means.
Truth is true. Conservatism’s genuine insights will live on, no matter what shallow, false ideology appropriates its name.
Conservatism as we have known it is over. The battle for its future has begun.
But in the final analysis, there is going to be a line. Some will be on one side, some on the other. If we must use today’s terminology because tomorrow’s has not yet been invented, then people like Gerson are going to be on the “liberal” side—which, let’s face it, he already is. There can be no accommodation with him and his like. As fellow citizens, yes, but as political or intellectual compatriots, no.
For everyone else, it will be time to join the side you’re on." ..........

We've gotten a little too good at building stone monuments. Time to rebuild the living.

Reagan vs. the Clintons


"'People began to evacuate, but an announcement over the intercom said everything was all right, no need to evacuate.'"--Michelle, who worked in Tower One . Others: "The reason we got out was because we didn't listen."   

Voting for Hillary Clinton now is like returning to your desk in the Trade Center on 9/11.

"If you want to vote for a lady, here she is!"

In 1994, Reagan took on Bill Clinton and Hillary's secretive Socialized Medicine scheme:

"I must say that returning to Washington today really brought back memories. As our plane headed toward the airport, I looked down on the White House, and it was just like the good old days...the South Lawn, the Rose Garden...David Gergen. I looked over a couple of blocks, and there was the Internal Revenue Service--bigger than I ever remembered it. When I looked down at the enormous United States Post Office building, I could just see the excitement on the faces of the bureaucrats--knowing they would soon be managing our national health care system! Up on Capitol Hill, I saw that big, white dome, bulging with new tax revenues. I instinctively reached for my veto pen and thought to myself, "Go ahead, make my day."

You may have seen President Clinton draw his own veto pen on television just last week. The difference is that his pen doesn't have any ink in it! Unless, of course, you're talking about red ink. And we all know the Democrats have plenty of that! ...

[Jan. 25, 1994: Clinton tells Congress, "If you send me legislation that does not guarantee every American private health insurance that can never be taken away, you will force me to take this pen, veto the legislation, and we'll come right back here and start all over again." The Big Lie: If it can't be taken away, it's not "private".--ed.]

Now, as most of you know, I'm not one for looking back, I figure there will be plenty of time for that when I get old. But rather what I take from the past, is inspiration for the future. And what we accomplished during our years in the White House must never be lost amid the rhetoric of political revisionists.

When we came to Washington on that bright sunny day in January of 1981, we shared a dream for America. Back then, the reach of government had become intolerable. It was a time of rampant inflation and crushing interest rates--when hope was scarce. It was a time when cold, ugly walls divided nations and human rights were trampled in the name of evil and corrupt ideologies. It was a time when the nuclear arms race was spiraling out of control and a blinding mistrust stood between East and West. We believed that for the future of America and the free world, this could not stand. And together, we insisted that this great nation must once again behave as such.

In our America, most people still believed in the power of a better tomorrow. So together we got the government off the backs of the American people. We created millions of new jobs for Americans at all income levels. We cut taxes and freed the people from the shackles of too much government. And the economy burst loose in the longest peacetime expansion ever. We brought America back--bigger and better than ever.

It was a time when America was a bright beacon of hope and freedom to oppressed people everywhere. The world looked to us--not just because of our military might--but because of our ideas of liberty and freedom. And, they knew we were willing to defend and promote those ideas in every corner of the earth. We rebuilt a demoralized, underfunded and unappreciated military. And we made it the most modern and respected force in the world. And who can forget those so-called "experts" who said our military build-up threatened a dangerous escalation of tensions? What kind of fool, they asked, would call the Soviet Union an "evil empire"? But as events have shown, there was nothing foolish in my prediction that Communism was destined for the ash heap of history. After decades of struggle, and with the help of the bold leadership of Margaret Thatcher, democracy won the Cold War and the Berlin Wall came tumbling down.

The world watched with amazement as we put our house in order and took our rightful place as the most dynamic country in the world. And I firmly believe that history will record our era as one of peace and global prosperity.

However, our task is far from over. Our friends in the other party will never forgive us for our success and are doing everything in their power to rewrite history. Listening to the liberals, you'd think that the 1980s were the worst period since the Great Depression--filled with greed and despair. Well, you and I know better than that. Although the political landscape has changed, the bold ideas of the 1980s are alive and well. Republican candidates swept every major election across the country last year. From New York to Texas--from New Jersey to my home state of California. And as a result, it seems that our opponents have finally realized how unpopular liberalism really is. So now, they're trying to dress their liberal agenda in a conservative overcoat.

After watching the State of the Union address the other night, I'm reminded of the old adage that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Only in this case, it's not flattery, but grand larceny--the intellectual theft of ideas that you and I recognize as our own. Speech delivery counts for little on the world stage unless you have convictions and, yes, the vision to see beyond the front row seats. The Democrats may remember their lines, but how quickly they forget the lessons of the past. I have witnessed five major wars in my lifetime, and I know how swiftly storm clouds can gather on a peaceful horizon. The next time a Saddam Hussein takes over a Kuwait, or North Korea brandishes a nuclear weapon, will we be ready to respond?

In the end, it all comes down to leadership. That is what this country is looking for now. It was leadership here at home that gave us strong American influence abroad and the collapse of imperial Communism. Great nations have responsibilities to lead, and we should always be cautious of those who would lower our profile because they might just wind up lowering our flag." ................

"This democracy of ours which sometimes we've treated so lightly, is more than ever a comfortable cloak,
so let us not tear it asunder, for no man knows once it is destroyed where or when he will find its protective warmth again."--Ronald Reagan, 1957

Typhoid Granny Battles Stairs to Attend "Rally"

If By "Rally", You Mean About the Same Number of People as the Terror Suspects Using Phony Names Who were Just Granted Citizenship Instead of Being Deported As Ordered

"Mr. Bond, they have a saying in Chicago: 'Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence.
The third time it's enemy action to place Soldiers of Allah into America.'
Take a tip from me, Mr. Bond: the first two times weren't just bureaucratic SNAFUs, either."

All eyes on Her Nemesis: the Killer Stairs--will she make it?

1944's News Today! Woodpile Report:

"Although in the final stage of a debilitating heart disease, he—and the ever-toadying press—presented himself as being in robust good health except for annoying but manageable little problems. He was reelected and died three months later. Duh.

""Bruenn’s notes said, “heart was enormous.” His diagnosis was “acute congestive heart failure,” specifically “left ventricular heart failure.” Lelyveld observes that this would have been explosive political news in 1944 and may explain why it was kept from the public for twenty-six years.
What Bruenn’s report told the few permitted to see it was quite different from the report Roosevelt gave his news conference shortly after the examination. His problem, the president said, was “a lingering bronchitis.” There were some slightly debilitating “residuals” of the flu, he said, and an “ensuing bronchitis” that exercise and sunshine could readily dispose of. The message seemed to be “Good as new in a day or two.”"

 

So it is with Hillary. Just a nagging cough. No, it's allergies. No, it's heat exhaustion. No, it was pneumonia all along, but now everything's okay.".......

 

Don't forget influenza. Also dehydration. And Cotard’s Delusion, aka “Walking Corpse Syndrome”. Fit as a fiddle, that one!

...or your lying eyes?
Somebody wave a bankroll under her nose, $tat!

 UPDATE: It's serious: Granny Moneypenny Cancels Fund-raiser!!!

Iranians For Freedom, Presidents Against

Nukes For Pukes

When Hussein Obama betrayed the American people with Pre-Emptive Unconditional Surrender in Iran, he also sold out the students, young people and vast swaths of Iranian civil society who do not slavishly support the repressive Mullah-cracy the way Obama and his minions do.

Imagine the predicament of a young Iranian--or Cuban, for that matter; just when sanctions have the regime on the ropes, along comes an American president--AN AMERICAN PRESIIDENT!--to rescue the dictatorship that is stepping on their necks.

"Obama saved us both from the ash-heap of history. What a *****!"

Obama's very name will be a curse word spit out around the world for generations yet to come, and deservedly so.

Iranians demonstrate outside the UN HQ in NY against visit of Iranian regime President Rouhani:

"Condemning the terrorist attacks in New York City and New Jersey, thousands of Iranian-Americans will hold a rally outside the United Nations Headquarters in New York on the opening day of the UN General Assembly Tuesday...
According to the Organization of Iranian American Communities (OIAC), the demonstrators will protest the visit to the UN by the Iranian regime's President, Hassan Rouhani , call for a halt in Tehran's extensive funding and sponsoring of terrorism in the region, demand a halt in the executions in Iran, and urge the prosecution of the regime's leaders."...................

In other words, the protestors will do the job American presidents used to do before that office was taken over by regime-coddling toadies and boot-lickers raised on Communist propaganda and anti-American swill from their corrupted youth.

Paris, too!




The Executive Who Forgot to Sign Obama's "Executive Agreement"

"Thanks for all the IEDs..."
"Don't mention it."
"...and for Khobar Towers..."
"I said, don't mention it."
"...and for the Marine Barracks Bombing..."
"Any time. And I mean 'at any time'."
"...and thanks for receiving my Ransom Payment so promptly."
"Stop talking. I must shop now."

With your money.

Mark Steyn: One Side's Narrative Fits All

The First Rule of Debate Club Is That There Is No Debate

Eating Your Words: The Cannibalization of Free Speech

Speak up, people:

BILL O’REILLY: "You may remember that over the summer a French priest was murdered by Muslim terrorists in his own church. That sparked more outcry against the jihad in France and around the world. Political commentator Mark Steyn recently returned from Europe where he attended the priest’s funeral and spoke with a number of people affected by the jihad. Mr. Steyn joins us now from Colchester, Vermont. What did you learn there? What was the headline that you learned in Europe, Mr. Steyn?

MARK STEYN: Well, you said at the top of the show that migrants aren't the problem, jihadists are--and that's true. But there is a crude arithmetic here, Bill, which is that the more Muslims you have, the more terrorism you have. So that France, Belgium and Germany have very high Muslim populations and they have a lot of terrorism. When you’re in Poland and the Czech Republic, they have very few Muslims, so they don’t have terrorism, and the question for Europe, and I think for the United States a few years down the line, is whether you can contain this just by the big Security State.

O'REILLY: You can't do that.

STEYN: No, you can't. I was on the beach and there were soldiers everywhere in France now — outside schools, shopping centers, railway stations. I was on the beach at Saint Tropez where the topless women have armed soldiers with automatic weapons patrolling between the topless women. It’s a sad sight, and it’s an absurd sight. Ultimately, it’s no solution.

O’REILLY: Now I heard you on the radio the other day saying that no longer in America can we even debate terrorism or anything else because if you disagree with the Left, they immediately demonize you as Islamophobic or anti-gay or anti-poor or whatever. Do you really believe that? You believe the debate is all gone?

STEYN: Yes, I think that’s true. I think essentially we’re turning into one vast college campus where there is a correct view and alternative views are not permitted. I disagree with people; I like to disagree with people, so do you. Whatever your view on gay marriage or climate change or Islam, I like to discuss it. The Left increasingly says we don’t want to win the argument, we want to cancel the argument.

And just this weekend — if you look at this fake outrage about Donald Trump declaring the New York event of bombing before it had been "officially" ruled a bombing — that is an attempt to shrivel the public discourse and prevent a diversity of views on Islam and immigration and terrorism. And if you notice, that’s the classic Left response now: "Let’s not debate your point of view, let’s cancel your point of view."

O’REILLY: Yeah, I think you’re right. I think we’re living in a totalitarian social environment right now. Any solution to it?

STEYN: Right, yeah I think so, I think Trump in the last year has actually managed to expand the public conversation, and whether you agree with him or not on those issues, that’s what we need. When we have people like Senator Whitehouse, for example, trying to criminalize dissent on climate change the guy is actually unfit for office, unfit for office. And the people of Rhode Island should be ashamed of that.

O’REILLY: You don’t want to shut him down, Mr. Steyn, you want to debate him, so we don’t want to do what they do.

STEYN: Right. That’s right, absolutely."...............

For 15 years we've been lectured about the non-existent backlash.
How 'bout a lecture about the Lash for once?

The firecrackers were used to herd the women. Oh, wait--let me rephrase that Narrative for you:
"The nurturing fireworks were used inclusively to herd the empowered women." That's better.

Is that powder-burn or a St. Tropez tan?
A: Yes.

Is that how we want to live? No--not naked on the beach--I mean, do we want to live under machine-gun guard just to go swimming?

Let's talk about it.

The Zombie Press Aroused: the Leg-Humping Media

Without them.

Narrator-in-Chief: "It was a dark and stormy night...take that, ISIL!"

"We shall describe our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall narrate on the beaches, we shall narrate on the landing grounds, we shall narrate in the fields and in the streets, we shall narrate in the hills; we shall never surrender our story to Hollywood without full script approval, cast approval and director approval. My artistry demands it."-- Pres. Winston Hussein Mosque-Hill

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941 -- a date which will live in literary infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by narrative forces of the Empire of Japan.  I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly critique by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of Narrative has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire."--Franklin Delano Hemingway

"Damn the torpedoes; full speed-reading ahead!"--Author David Farragut, "Use Your Words, Children"

It's...I mean, pathetic. No, crazy...wait...aw, words fail.

And that's the problem:

“When it comes to ISIL, we are in a fight--a narrative fight--with them, a narrative battle.”

Bibi Netanyahu was on TV recently making the common sense point that terrorists have to be defeated in real life, not just in the Battle of Ideas. We need both, as they are mutually reinforcing, but the first priority must be Actual Victory, not Virtual Virtue-Signaling.

The Administration seems to be engaged in a Good Cop/Bad Cop head-fake, a misdirection tactic to ensure that neither happens, that nothing gets done:

"We must degrade and destroy ISIL."
"Okay. Do that."
"We can't. Congress hasn't signed my Declaration of Narrative War, which has more caveats and exemptions than a Bill Clinton marriage vow. Besides, we can't kill our way out of the War on Terror. We need to win the Narrative War."
"Okay. Do that."
"We can't. Because the Narrative is that it's all America's fault."
"Aw, forget it. Just forget the whole thing!"
"Awesome! We thought you'd never ask."

In Narrative World, for example, you get more angry at Trump for calling it a bombing than you get at the bombing itself. Or you scream at Trump's kid--but not at bombers--when he compares immigrant bombers to poisonous Skittles in an otherwise delicious bowl of candy:

"Lend-Lease is like letting my neighbor borrow my garden hose to put out a fire."--FDR
"OMG!! FDR just compared World War II to a minor house fire!!! Clearly, he's unfit to lead!!!!!!"--The Zombie Press

Maybe it's because the president believes in the Bill Ayers Literary Professor Model. Oprah gave Obama her Extreme Vetting Seal of Approval and Ayers helped him win the presidency by writing his "auto"biographies.

"There's been another terrorist attack--Quick, where's my library card?"

But before his literary efforts helped secure Obama's victory, Ayers won the ground war by bombing a federal judge and his family and murdering San Francisco Police Officer Brian McDonnell with a nail bomb.

"Hey, next time, could you guys declare Narrative War against me instead of Actual War?"

And when the facts don't fit the Narrative, the facts must be wrong. As VDH puts it,

 

"The media have devolved into a weird Ministry of Truth. News seems defined now as what information is necessary to release to arrive at correct views."

History will record that this president not only lost our Surge Victory in Iraq and lost with his Pre-Emptive Surrender to Iran, but lost his grip on reality.

That's the real story Narrative.

[P.S.: Even Osama's Obama's use of the acronym "ISIL" instead of "ISIS" is Narrative-driven. The "L" stands for "Levant", an area that includes Israel. It is a way for Obama and his fellow Muslim Brotherhood staff to lend legitimacy to the Islamist claim over Israel. "Words have meanings," indeed.]

Hall of Famer Aeschylus: "Willingly no one chooses the yoke of slavery." "You wanna' bet?"--Coach Merkel

Are You Ready For Some Football?

The Inoffensive Line

While our Million-Dollar Heroes turn their back on the flag to protest their own oppression and for the Right of Thugs to Shoot Cops, German women have been drafted into the CLFL by Coach Angela Merkel.

That's the Caliphate Lowly Female League. They'll be traded for a civilization to be named later.

"We're the Hamburg Hausfraus, We'll Get that Goal,
Go Lowly Females, Do As You're Told! Yay!"

The Haus Fraus of Islam have been told to learn NFL stiff-arm techniques to fend off their tacklers.
They are told to wear uniforms that do not excite their fanatical fans.
They have even been told to wear the proper sneakers to more speedily evade the grasp of Islamo-linebackers.

All they needed were team helmets:

TV Ad Encourages German Women to Wear Hijabs
Country gives up on integrating Muslim migrants, chooses to submit to Islam instead

"A television ad currently airing in Germany invites blonde-haired, blue-eyed women to embrace “tolerance” by wearing the Muslim hijab head dress. ...The campaign is funded by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, as well as German taxpayers...
Holding potential rapists at arms’ length, not wearing provocative clothing, or wearing sneakers so they can run away – all advice given to German women by authorities – appears to not be working.

Despite the left’s recent efforts to re-brand the hijab as a form of female empowerment, it’s actually a symbol of oppression.

“Well-intentioned women are wearing headscarves in interfaith “solidarity.” But, to us, they stand on the wrong side of a lethal war of ideas that sexually objectifies women as vessels for honor and temptation, absolving men of personal responsibility,” writes Asra Q. Nomani, founder of the Muslim Reform Movement.

The German television ad is extremely revealing. “Tolerance” means submission. “Diversity” means the willful extinction of German culture." ..........

Well, they could always play against the Iranian womens' teams--if women weren't banned from stadiums by Obama's Supreme Leader.



"Coach Khameni knows best, girls, In time, you will learn to obey just as I have."

The Pledge of Allegiance. Also the Half-Time Show!

"I'll shall gladly wager you a pallet full of Swiss Francs that I secure this oblong projectile!" 

"If slavery is not wrong, nothing is wrong."--Abe Lincoln
"Nothing is wrong."--A. Merkel

"The prolonged slavery of women is the darkest page in human history."--Elizabeth Cady Stanton
"Not yet."--UNESCO

"We need to move the ball down the field and put points on the board. Oh, yeah-- and avoid turnovers."--CLFL Coaches Recep Erdogan, Ayatollah Khameni and Abu Bakr "the Bagman" al-Baghdadi, flush with $150 Billion in new Salary Cap money

"All My Rowdy Friends Are Wearing Hijabs Tonight."

UPDATE to the 7th Century: The most chilling part of the article:

"[T]he dream of Green Party leader Stefanie von Berg, who celebrated the fact that mass migration will bring an end to German majority populations in cities within a few decades, is drawing closer. "I hold that in 20. 30 years, there will no longer be German majorities in our city..."

It may be next year if Merkel continues, lady.

If this Civilizational Self-Loather merely wanted to live like a Turkish woman, she could simply move to Turkey. But she wants to impose Turkish society on all her neighbors.

Turkey; who is rapidly replacing Attaturk's secular democracy with Erdogan's Muslim Brotherhood dictatorship, conducting war on its ancient Kurdish population, acting as a Bus Station for ISIS, destabilizing its neighbors, embroiled in daily terrorism--this is the future Green Party Leftist Stefanie von Berg seeks for her country.

And this is the same the future that Democrat Party Leftist Barack Hussein Obama seeks for this country.

Oh, look--bomb blasts in New York City, pipe-bombs at the Marine Run in Jersey, eight stabbed by a fake mall security guard screaming "Allah!" in Minnesota and a Palestinian appeals his deportation by taking a meat-cleaver to a cop while screaming "Allah!"; it's working!

Gov. Cuomo: "We won't let them instill fear."

No--we'll just let them in still.

"Achtung, baby; I tried to warn you!"

Hank Jr. is not a political guy really, but he saw Barky Nicklaus Uni-Partying with his Buddy Boehner on the back-nine fairway and it upset him. He instinctively and correctly thought that Boehner should be busy fighting for working people instead of facilitating Obama's Family Tradition of Communism. Hank compared Boehner to an Israeli leader lunching with Hitler and that's when the wailing and gnashing of teeth began.

It's a bad analogy, of course. Hitler's Nazis built fixed mass-extermination devices at Treblinka and Auschwitz, while Obama is helping Iranian Islamo-Nazis build movable mass-extermination devices on ICBMs.

Totally different.


Steyn On Rush

Tanks, Canada!

Granny's the only candidate with her own ambulance. I'm surprised her staff hasn't called her a first responder yet.

Pondering these issues, Mark Steyn guest-hosts on Rush:                          

 

"[Hillary can] no longer seriously describe Trump as "unfit" for the presidency, when he's literally the last man standing."

"A guy running for president should know what Aleppo is...not because it's a foreign policy issue...but because it's a domestic one."

"Has Hillary demanded an apology from Obama's book publicist who called him a Kenyan for 10 years?"
"Don't mistake the sidelines for the moral high ground."                          

"If Gaddafi gave the $1M to the Clinton Foundation [instead of Beyonce] he would still be alive today..."

"I also addressed Hillary's "basket of deplorables" and tied it in to the demonization of pro-Brexit Britons in the United Kingdom:

When you tell half the electorate that they're bigots, racists, sexists, homophobes, transphobes, Islamophobes (and don't worry, there'll be a new phobe along any minute) then something else sometimes happens. People go quiet or give dishonest answers to pollsters.

Which is why the Remainers were stunned by the Brexit vote - and why November may bring a similar surprise."...........

Mark Steyn on 9/11, 2016: "[I]f you don't understand that you're up against this ideology and you don't target that ideology, then you can never win. And that's why I find this anniversary about as dispiriting as any of the fourteen since that Tuesday morning all those years ago."

From 9/11 2002: "Five days before 9/11, the Norwegian newspaper Dagbladet reported that 65% of the country's rapes were committed by "non-western" immigrants – a category which, in Norway, is almost wholly Muslim. A professor at the University of Oslo explained that one reason for the disproportionate Muslim share of the rape market was that in their native lands "rape is scarcely punished" because it is generally believed that "it is women who are responsible for rape".
So Muslim immigrants to Norway should be made aware that things are a little different in Scandinavia?
Not at all! Rather, the professor insisted, "Norwegian women must take their share of responsibility for these rapes"...
What we've seen since September 11th is that multiculturalism trumps everything. Its grip on the imagination of the western elites is unshakeable...
I believe western culture – rule of law, universal suffrage, etc – is preferable to Arab culture: that's why there are millions of Muslims in Scandinavia, and four Scandinavians in Syria."................

In other Humor-related news, hard-nosed investigative journalist Jimmy Fallon was slammed by sullen, hard-Left, soul-deadened humorless gits for not being a sullen, hard-Left, soul-deadened humorless git.


Our National Motto: E Pluribus Unum "That's Not Funny!"

If you think they're mad now, wait 'til they see Fallon don a germ-mask and use hand sanitizer
after high-fiving Typhoid Granny

Don't worry, Jimmy; she's got an entire ER staff in the Green Room if you feel queasier than the usual.