Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Friend of the Devil: The Hillary Sessions

Stop the Haight-Ashbury!

Hillary "RICO" Rodham has taken a large and felonious dump on America's living room carpet...and she wants you FBI peasants to know she's not at all pleased with the way you're cleaning up her stinking mess!

That kind of arrogant criminality calls for a song!

With apologies to Jerry and the band...

"Friend of the Devil", done Clinton-style:



 










 




I lit out for DC, 
I was trailed by twenty hounds
I thought Comey had my back,
but then he had to pounce

 
 
I set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of Bill's is a friend of mine
If I get paid before midnight
You just might get sanctions relief tonight
I ran into Putin, babe,
He paid me $20mil
for weapons-grade uranium,
We gotta pay our bills!

Set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of Putin is a friend of mine
If I get cash before midnight
You just might get your nukes tonight

I ran guns to Benghazi
But the rebels shot Brett there
They used my .20 calibers
At this point, I don't care

Set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of the Danger is a friend of mine
If I get cash before midnight
You just might get your arms tonight

Got two reasons why I cry
Away each lonely night
The first one's name is Donald Trump
I think I've lost that fight

Second one is prison, babe
The Bureau's on my trail
And if truth catches up with me
I'll spend my life in jail
 
Took my first bribe in Little Rock
I said "This is for me!"
The first one led to all the rest
And now my bribes take me.

Set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of Bill's is a friend of mine
If we get cash before midnight
You just might get pardoned tonight

I lit out for DC,
I was trailed by twenty hounds
I thought Comey had my back,
but then he had to pounce!

I set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of Bill's is a friend of mine
If I get paid before midnight
You just might get sanctions relief tonight

I ran into Putin, babe,
He paid me $20mil
for weapons-grade uranium--
We gotta pay our bills!

Set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of Putin is a friend of mine
If I get cash before midnight
You just might get your nukes tonight

I ran guns to Benghazi
But the rebels shot Brett there
They used my .20 calibers
At this point, I don't care

Set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of the Danger is a friend of mine
If I get cash before midnight
You just might get your arms tonight

Got two reasons why I cry
Away each lonely night
The first one's name is Donald Trump
I think I've lost that fight
Second one is prison, babe
The Bureau's on my trail
And if truth catches up with me
I'll spend my life in jail

Took my first bribe in Little Rock
I said "This is for me!"
The first one led to all the rest
And now my bribes take me.

Set out runnin' back in '69
A friend of Bill's is a friend of mine
If we get cash before midnight
You just might get pardoned tonight

Got two reasons why I grift
Away each lonely night
The first one's name is Donald Trump
I think I've lost that fight
Second one is prison, babe
The Bureau's on my trail
And if truth catches up with me
I'll spend my life in jail

Planned this run back in '69
A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine
If I email before midnight
I just might kill a spy tonight

"Muganphluf, oot."
(Translation: "This is some mighty tasty Goat's Head Government Soup, Granny!")
 

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