No, it's not your fault, Hillary.
Everybody knows your defeat couldn't possibly be because of the corruption, the bribery, the perjury, the obstruction of justice, the dereliction of duty, the sheer incompetence, the lack of vision, the grifting, the smearing of Bill's victims, the charities fraud, the extremism, the failures, the bald-faced lying to voters or endangering our agents and our top secrets.
It simply must have been caused by something else, such as:
Bad hair decade
Moon in the second house, Jupiter aligns with Mars
James Comey's letter and his cabal of Alt-Right FBI agents--even though Comey gave the Clintons a pass for selling pardons, gave Hillary a pass for leaving all our secrets on an Internet Park Bench and even though Comey's brother works for Hillary's attorneys.
Democrat computer analytics program
Obama's passive aggressive frenemy support
She didn't work hard enough, according to The Hardest Working Man in Che Business.
Saturday Night Live
The Electoral College
The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy
Google, who didn't outright block negative searches on Hillary, only manipulated them in her favor
The Iran Deal
The Uranium Deal
The Russian Reset
The Gambia Gambit
Zena, Warrior Princess
The Sum of All Phobias
"internalized misogyny" by self-hating female Trump voters
Phony News stories on Fakebook, even though Fakebook did everything possible to drag Granny over the finish line.
It's the Stupid, Economy
The Five-Percent Solution
The Twenty-Percent Uranium Solution
The US Code
The Florida Recount
The hot sauce in her purse leaked
The Media was biased against her--no, hear me out--because she was just so AWESOME that they held her to a higher standard.
Donors didn't give enough
You. You let Hillary down.
The Paranoid Style, in which conservatives are held culpable for Castro's boy Oswald
Men having to hold their urine because they are denied the use of women's bathrooms
Scooter Libby, who got a special prosecutor for 1/1,000th of Hillary's crimes
Hillary's winning appearance on "Who Wants to Be a Bribery Billionaire?"
Broken Glass Republicans
The Glass Ceiling
The Glass Slipper
The Noon Martini Glass
Citizens United in Saying Things Without Hillary's Pre-Approval
The Bush Tax Cuts
and, of course, that dull, waxy yellow build-up, the heartbreak of psoriasis and ring around the collar.
|The Hardest Working Man In Show Business|
|The Hardest Working Man In Che Business|
|The Hardest Working Model Prisoner of the Year, 2017|
Also Global Warming.