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*(Washington, D.C., Disunited States) The Administration announced it would soon help another two dozen detainees escape from Guantanamo. "We're still working on details like making pay-offs, securing hideouts and getaway vehicles, but when we schedule their prison break, you'll be the first to know," said spokesman Earnest Josher to his rented Echo Chamber. "Gitmo is a recruiting tool. Giving $150 Billion to Iran isn't a recruiting tool, but prison is."
Josher went on to say that these worst-of-the-worst detainees would qualify to remain in the country however, if they chose to sneak back in illegally. 'They've certainly met the president's standard of establishing residency before January of 2014. And as veterans of Guantanamo, they might qualify for preferred hiring at DOD or State."
When asked for comment, the Dept. of Defense requested another two dozen troops for Afghanistan "to match upcoming enemy deployments" there. "We feel that Terrorism causes Gitmo, not that Gitmo causes Terrorism," said a Defense spokesman who wished to remain unidentified, sane and employed. .............................