Thursday, May 12, 2016

Stop Making Censor

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death my right to pretend you never said it."--Voltaire

The White House has more shifting stories about censoring French President Hollande's "Islamist Terrorism" remarks than Donald Trump has at a Planned Parenthood convention.

The people who say they will strictly monitor Iran's nuclear compliance now claim they can't operate a camcorder.
Funny how none of Military Dictator Raul Castro's remarks were "lost" in translation.  When Pres. Springy Breakerson denounced Ted Cruz from beneath the shadow of the Che Guevara Dept. of Gulags Building, the audio was perfect. When he praised Communism to Argentine schoolchildren, every word was clear as an East German police siren.

But when the elected leader of France, America's oldest ally, says "Islamist Terrorism, the Film Noir New Soviet Airbrush Brigades rush into censor mode, arrogating unto themselves the right to 'correct' Pres. Hollande as if he were a child. And then lie to the American people about it, as if we were children also.

While Paris and Brussels yet bleed.

"Mr. President, we have a problem." 
"What is it, Toadson?" 
"They are comparing our censoring of President Hollande to Nixon erasing the Watergate tapes.' 
'That's ridiculous, Toadson." 
"Yes, sir, and they say that at least Nixon only wanted to erase his own conversations, not those of other world leaders." 
"They're comparing me to Nixon--really? I was shooting for Mussolini." 
"Yes, sir--and you have a lovely jut-jawline. But it seems our efforts to disappear the phrase 'Islamist Terrorism' have backfired. Its trending on social media and we've been caught red-handed lying ." 
"I love that phrase 'red-handed', Toadson." 
"Then I love it also, sir. And we've restored the full audio, sir. Not even Rosemary Woods could do that." 
"You did WHAT!? Never restore the historical airbrush! You've put me in an awkward situation, Toadson...okay; Hollande didn't say 'Islamist Terrorism'--he said 'Balsamic Vegetarianism'. Go make it happen. Or unhappen." 
'Yes, sir.' 
'What else is on my agenda today?" 
'Well, sir, Putin is failing to leave Syria." 
"Putin likes falling leaves in Peoria--what else, Toadson?" 
"Well, sir, the Ayatollah says 'Death to America!' again.' 
'The Ayatollah says Debt in America is too high because he's concerned about our economy. See, Toadson--world leaders love me, they really, really love me." 
"They certainly do, sir, they certainly do."

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