Sunday, August 7, 2016

Hillary's Russian Reset: The Gremlin and the Kremlin

From our Archives, March, 2009 --when America still had all of its uranium supplies, a Missile Shield in Eastern Europe, al Qaeda on the ropes and a Surge Victory in Iraq.

And then came Hillary.

"Am using middle finger!"

"Your staff can't even figure out"

"Toss in garbage, Sergei."



It's So Childish... 


It Takes a Village to "reset" after a childish stunt like this:

HILLARY: I wanted to present you...this represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying, and that is, we want to...'reset'...our...relationship. So we'll do it together.

LAVROV: "Biden"? You mean "Joe Biden"? Are you serious, lady? Okay, whatever. Thanking you very much. (camera shutters clicking)

HILLARY: You're very welcome! We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?

LAVROV: You got wrong.

HILLARY: I've gotten it wrong? (nervous cackle)

LAVROV: It should be "perezagruzka."

HILLARY: But we worked so hard on it--couldn't you grade us on a curve so nobody's feelings get hurt?

LAVROV: Nyet. This says "peregruzka," means "overcharge."

HILLARY: Well, I won't let you do that to me, I promise!

LAVROV: No, not like "money"--like power overload.


LAVROV: Don't worry about it--we had same mix-up at Chernobyl.

HILLARY: Sorry; nobody at State speaks Russian anymore since Condi left. But if you need a 12-person Rapid-Deployment Sexual Harassment Team, we've got dozens of those.

LAVROV: No thanks. What does this "reset button" mean, anyway?

HILLARY: It's just our way of saying to authoritarians and thugs everywhere "We mean you no harm!"

LAVROV: We already figure that out.

HILLARY: I prepared for our meeting. I watched "White Nights" with Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines...twice! And "Reds" with Warren Beatty.


HILLARY: Yeah--that's what everybody says.

LAVROV: I have award for you; Order of Lenin.

HILLARY: No, thanks--I already got one at Wellesley.

LAVROV: You know those snipers on tarmac in the Bosnia?


LAVROV: That was us. But you weren't target. It was Sinbad. He's just not funny.

HILLARY: Tell me about it.

LAVROV: *(silence)*

HILLARY: *(silence)*

LAVROV: You know, you should really give this up.

HILLARY: Give up what?

LAVROV: This whole "We're not Bush! We're not Bush!"-thing. It's childish. We're Russians. We don't give damn. What else you bring me besides stupid button?

HILLARY: Would you like Gordon Brown's 25-pack of American movies? It turns out they won't play in British DVD-players. If you want, you can return them to Wal-Mart and get the money. I'm on the board--just mention my name.

LAVROV: Okay. Thank you very much. (camera shutters clicking) That's better. What did you finally get for Prime Minister Brown, anyway?

HILLARY: Well, he gave us the original Magna Carta, so we wanted to do something really special for him. So we named a star after him at Star

LAVROV: He'll never see it; he has vision problems.

HILLARY: He does?


HILLARY: That's okay--his star name is recorded in book-form in some bureaucrat's office somewhere--isn't that exciting?

LAVROV: If you say so.

HILLARY: But wait, there's more; we also gave him some Sham-Wows--and we even paid the shipping and handling!

LAVROV: So, it's true--you really did write-off husband's used underwear as tax deduction.

HILLARY: Better a tax write-off than mouldering in some evidence locker somewhere. Besides, Sham-Wows are great!

LAVROV: Yes--we used them at Chernobyl. Would you like one? We offered them to Iran as reactor fuel but they said they had plenty already.

HILLARY: Thank you so much. Would you like a bust of Churchill?

LAVROV: It's very kind of you. It will be on my desk. Before I put in the trash.

HILLARY: And, Yuri...

LAVROV: Yes, Hildavitch?

HILLARY: Thanks for helping us get rid of that awful, provocative and aggressive Reagan Missile Shield.

LAVROV: Don't mention it, Hildavitch.

HILLARY: I won't if you won't! (nervous cackle)

LAVROV: And thank you for lesson: "It's not Crimea, its cover-up!"  ...................

Currently, Trump joked about Russia reading Hillary's emails and Clinton cried treason. As if Russian Intelligence didn't think of hacking her emails until Trump mentioned it. In other words, it's not a crime to leave your server wide open to espionage, but joking about it is a Serious Felony.

The Russians are probably mad at Hillary for making them read her yoga emails to get to the top-secret sources and methods emails she so nonchalantly neglected. Which probably got some of our agents killed--but First Woman President(tm)!

That's the Clinton Way--leaving a trail of chaos and destruction in their wake.

Trump admires Putin's hob-nail boot and Clinton keeps on poli$hing Putin's hobnail boot.

Can't at least one of them do what's right for America?

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