From our Archives, March, 2009 --when America still had all of its uranium supplies, a Missile Shield in Eastern Europe, al Qaeda on the ropes and a Surge Victory in Iraq.
And then came Hillary.
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| "Am using middle finger!" |
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| "Your staff can't even figure out FreeTranslation.com?" |
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| "Toss in garbage, Sergei." |
It's So Childish...
THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED IT A "RECESS BUTTON"
It Takes a Village to "reset" after a childish stunt like this:
HILLARY: I wanted to present you...this represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying, and that is, we want to...'reset'...our...relationship. So we'll do it together.
LAVROV: "Biden"? You mean "Joe Biden"? Are you serious, lady? Okay, whatever. Thanking you very much. (camera shutters clicking)
HILLARY: You're very welcome! We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?
LAVROV: You got wrong.
HILLARY: I've gotten it wrong? (nervous cackle)
LAVROV: It should be "perezagruzka."
HILLARY: But we worked so hard on it--couldn't you grade us on a curve so nobody's feelings get hurt?
LAVROV: Nyet. This says "peregruzka," means "overcharge."
HILLARY: Well, I won't let you do that to me, I promise!
LAVROV: No, not like "money"--like power overload.
HILLARY: Oh.
LAVROV: Don't worry about it--we had same mix-up at Chernobyl.
HILLARY: Sorry; nobody at State speaks Russian anymore since Condi left. But if you need a 12-person Rapid-Deployment Sexual Harassment Team, we've got dozens of those.
LAVROV: No thanks. What does this "reset button" mean, anyway?
HILLARY: It's just our way of saying to authoritarians and thugs everywhere "We mean you no harm!"
LAVROV: We already figure that out.
HILLARY: I prepared for our meeting. I watched "White Nights" with Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines...twice! And "Reds" with Warren Beatty.
LAVROV: Who?
HILLARY: Yeah--that's what everybody says.
LAVROV: I have award for you; Order of Lenin.
HILLARY: No, thanks--I already got one at Wellesley.
LAVROV: You know those snipers on tarmac in the Bosnia?
HILLARY: Yes?
LAVROV: That was us. But you weren't target. It was Sinbad. He's just not funny.
HILLARY: Tell me about it.
LAVROV: *(silence)*
HILLARY: *(silence)*
LAVROV: You know, you should really give this up.
HILLARY: Give up what?
LAVROV: This whole "We're not Bush! We're not Bush!"-thing. It's childish. We're Russians. We don't give damn. What else you bring me besides stupid button?
HILLARY: Would you like Gordon Brown's 25-pack of American movies? It turns out they won't play in British DVD-players. If you want, you can return them to Wal-Mart and get the money. I'm on the board--just mention my name.
LAVROV: Okay. Thank you very much. (camera shutters clicking) That's better. What did you finally get for Prime Minister Brown, anyway?
HILLARY: Well, he gave us the original Magna Carta, so we wanted to do something really special for him. So we named a star after him at Star Chancellory.com.
LAVROV: He'll never see it; he has vision problems.
HILLARY: He does?
LAVROV: Da.
HILLARY: That's okay--his star name is recorded in book-form in some bureaucrat's office somewhere--isn't that exciting?
LAVROV: If you say so.
HILLARY: But wait, there's more; we also gave him some Sham-Wows--and we even paid the shipping and handling!
LAVROV: So, it's true--you really did write-off husband's used underwear as tax deduction.
HILLARY: Better a tax write-off than mouldering in some evidence locker somewhere. Besides, Sham-Wows are great!
LAVROV: Yes--we used them at Chernobyl. Would you like one? We offered them to Iran as reactor fuel but they said they had plenty already.
HILLARY: Thank you so much. Would you like a bust of Churchill?
LAVROV: It's very kind of you. It will be on my desk. Before I put in the trash.
HILLARY: And, Yuri...
LAVROV: Yes, Hildavitch?
HILLARY: Thanks for helping us get rid of that awful, provocative and aggressive Reagan Missile Shield.
LAVROV: Don't mention it, Hildavitch.
HILLARY: I won't if you won't! (nervous cackle)
LAVROV: And thank you for lesson: "It's not Crimea, its cover-up!" ...................
Currently, Trump joked about Russia reading Hillary's emails and Clinton cried treason. As if Russian Intelligence didn't think of hacking her emails until Trump mentioned it. In other words, it's not a crime to leave your server wide open to espionage, but joking about it is a Serious Felony.
HILLARY: I wanted to present you...this represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying, and that is, we want to...'reset'...our...relationship. So we'll do it together.
LAVROV: "Biden"? You mean "Joe Biden"? Are you serious, lady? Okay, whatever. Thanking you very much. (camera shutters clicking)
HILLARY: You're very welcome! We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?
LAVROV: You got wrong.
HILLARY: I've gotten it wrong? (nervous cackle)
LAVROV: It should be "perezagruzka."
HILLARY: But we worked so hard on it--couldn't you grade us on a curve so nobody's feelings get hurt?
LAVROV: Nyet. This says "peregruzka," means "overcharge."
HILLARY: Well, I won't let you do that to me, I promise!
LAVROV: No, not like "money"--like power overload.
HILLARY: Oh.
LAVROV: Don't worry about it--we had same mix-up at Chernobyl.
HILLARY: Sorry; nobody at State speaks Russian anymore since Condi left. But if you need a 12-person Rapid-Deployment Sexual Harassment Team, we've got dozens of those.
LAVROV: No thanks. What does this "reset button" mean, anyway?
HILLARY: It's just our way of saying to authoritarians and thugs everywhere "We mean you no harm!"
LAVROV: We already figure that out.
HILLARY: I prepared for our meeting. I watched "White Nights" with Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines...twice! And "Reds" with Warren Beatty.
LAVROV: Who?
HILLARY: Yeah--that's what everybody says.
LAVROV: I have award for you; Order of Lenin.
HILLARY: No, thanks--I already got one at Wellesley.
LAVROV: You know those snipers on tarmac in the Bosnia?
HILLARY: Yes?
LAVROV: That was us. But you weren't target. It was Sinbad. He's just not funny.
HILLARY: Tell me about it.
LAVROV: *(silence)*
HILLARY: *(silence)*
LAVROV: You know, you should really give this up.
HILLARY: Give up what?
LAVROV: This whole "We're not Bush! We're not Bush!"-thing. It's childish. We're Russians. We don't give damn. What else you bring me besides stupid button?
HILLARY: Would you like Gordon Brown's 25-pack of American movies? It turns out they won't play in British DVD-players. If you want, you can return them to Wal-Mart and get the money. I'm on the board--just mention my name.
LAVROV: Okay. Thank you very much. (camera shutters clicking) That's better. What did you finally get for Prime Minister Brown, anyway?
HILLARY: Well, he gave us the original Magna Carta, so we wanted to do something really special for him. So we named a star after him at Star Chancellory.com.
LAVROV: He'll never see it; he has vision problems.
HILLARY: He does?
LAVROV: Da.
HILLARY: That's okay--his star name is recorded in book-form in some bureaucrat's office somewhere--isn't that exciting?
LAVROV: If you say so.
HILLARY: But wait, there's more; we also gave him some Sham-Wows--and we even paid the shipping and handling!
LAVROV: So, it's true--you really did write-off husband's used underwear as tax deduction.
HILLARY: Better a tax write-off than mouldering in some evidence locker somewhere. Besides, Sham-Wows are great!
LAVROV: Yes--we used them at Chernobyl. Would you like one? We offered them to Iran as reactor fuel but they said they had plenty already.
HILLARY: Thank you so much. Would you like a bust of Churchill?
LAVROV: It's very kind of you. It will be on my desk. Before I put in the trash.
HILLARY: And, Yuri...
LAVROV: Yes, Hildavitch?
HILLARY: Thanks for helping us get rid of that awful, provocative and aggressive Reagan Missile Shield.
LAVROV: Don't mention it, Hildavitch.
HILLARY: I won't if you won't! (nervous cackle)
LAVROV: And thank you for lesson: "It's not Crimea, its cover-up!" ...................
Currently, Trump joked about Russia reading Hillary's emails and Clinton cried treason. As if Russian Intelligence didn't think of hacking her emails until Trump mentioned it. In other words, it's not a crime to leave your server wide open to espionage, but joking about it is a Serious Felony.
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