Sunday, August 7, 2016

Hillary's Russian Reset: The Gremlin and the Kremlin

From our Archives, March, 2009 --when America still had all of its uranium supplies, a Missile Shield in Eastern Europe, al Qaeda on the ropes and a Surge Victory in Iraq.

And then came Hillary.



"Am using middle finger!"




















"Your staff can't even figure out FreeTranslation.com?"





"Toss in garbage, Sergei."






 

 

It's So Childish... 

THEY SHOULD HAVE CALLED IT A "RECESS BUTTON"

It Takes a Village to "reset" after a childish stunt like this:

HILLARY: I wanted to present you...this represents what President Obama and Vice President Biden and I have been saying, and that is, we want to...'reset'...our...relationship. So we'll do it together.

LAVROV: "Biden"? You mean "Joe Biden"? Are you serious, lady? Okay, whatever. Thanking you very much. (camera shutters clicking)

HILLARY: You're very welcome! We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?

LAVROV: You got wrong.

HILLARY: I've gotten it wrong? (nervous cackle)

LAVROV: It should be "perezagruzka."

HILLARY: But we worked so hard on it--couldn't you grade us on a curve so nobody's feelings get hurt?

LAVROV: Nyet. This says "peregruzka," means "overcharge."

HILLARY: Well, I won't let you do that to me, I promise!

LAVROV: No, not like "money"--like power overload.

HILLARY: Oh.

LAVROV: Don't worry about it--we had same mix-up at Chernobyl.

HILLARY: Sorry; nobody at State speaks Russian anymore since Condi left. But if you need a 12-person Rapid-Deployment Sexual Harassment Team, we've got dozens of those.

LAVROV: No thanks. What does this "reset button" mean, anyway?

HILLARY: It's just our way of saying to authoritarians and thugs everywhere "We mean you no harm!"

LAVROV: We already figure that out.

HILLARY: I prepared for our meeting. I watched "White Nights" with Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines...twice! And "Reds" with Warren Beatty.

LAVROV: Who?

HILLARY: Yeah--that's what everybody says.

LAVROV: I have award for you; Order of Lenin.

HILLARY: No, thanks--I already got one at Wellesley.

LAVROV: You know those snipers on tarmac in the Bosnia?

HILLARY: Yes?

LAVROV: That was us. But you weren't target. It was Sinbad. He's just not funny.

HILLARY: Tell me about it.

LAVROV: *(silence)*

HILLARY: *(silence)*

LAVROV: You know, you should really give this up.

HILLARY: Give up what?

LAVROV: This whole "We're not Bush! We're not Bush!"-thing. It's childish. We're Russians. We don't give damn. What else you bring me besides stupid button?

HILLARY: Would you like Gordon Brown's 25-pack of American movies? It turns out they won't play in British DVD-players. If you want, you can return them to Wal-Mart and get the money. I'm on the board--just mention my name.

LAVROV: Okay. Thank you very much. (camera shutters clicking) That's better. What did you finally get for Prime Minister Brown, anyway?

HILLARY: Well, he gave us the original Magna Carta, so we wanted to do something really special for him. So we named a star after him at Star Chancellory.com.

LAVROV: He'll never see it; he has vision problems.

HILLARY: He does?

LAVROV: Da.

HILLARY: That's okay--his star name is recorded in book-form in some bureaucrat's office somewhere--isn't that exciting?

LAVROV: If you say so.

HILLARY: But wait, there's more; we also gave him some Sham-Wows--and we even paid the shipping and handling!

LAVROV: So, it's true--you really did write-off husband's used underwear as tax deduction.

HILLARY: Better a tax write-off than mouldering in some evidence locker somewhere. Besides, Sham-Wows are great!

LAVROV: Yes--we used them at Chernobyl. Would you like one? We offered them to Iran as reactor fuel but they said they had plenty already.

HILLARY: Thank you so much. Would you like a bust of Churchill?

LAVROV: It's very kind of you. It will be on my desk. Before I put in the trash.

HILLARY: And, Yuri...

LAVROV: Yes, Hildavitch?

HILLARY: Thanks for helping us get rid of that awful, provocative and aggressive Reagan Missile Shield.

LAVROV: Don't mention it, Hildavitch.

HILLARY: I won't if you won't! (nervous cackle)

LAVROV: And thank you for lesson: "It's not Crimea, its cover-up!"  ...................

Currently, Trump joked about Russia reading Hillary's emails and Clinton cried treason. As if Russian Intelligence didn't think of hacking her emails until Trump mentioned it. In other words, it's not a crime to leave your server wide open to espionage, but joking about it is a Serious Felony.

The Russians are probably mad at Hillary for making them read her yoga emails to get to the top-secret sources and methods emails she so nonchalantly neglected. Which probably got some of our agents killed--but First Woman President(tm)!

That's the Clinton Way--leaving a trail of chaos and destruction in their wake.

Trump admires Putin's hob-nail boot and Clinton keeps on poli$hing Putin's hobnail boot.

Can't at least one of them do what's right for America?




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