Manufactured News Network's BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: Now With UPDATED UPDATES!

MNN: "You Mean Framed? Like With A Picture?"

( via StormyBlogger)

BREAKING NEWS...Dr. Fauci Praises Singer Alice Cooper as "Prescient Visionary" for His "Prophetic Masterpiece", the 1938 smash hit "School's Out...Forever!"

"The man is a Public Health Legend," gushed Fauci.

Dr. Fauci Also Recommends Wearing Gloves When Using the Bathroom.

"And if you use the bathroom with someone else, I want to see facemasks, too!"

This In Addition To Federal Bans On Sex, Handshakes, Touching Your Face, Petting the Dog, Changing the Channel, Leaving Your Bedroom and a new Federal Mandate That All Public Gatherings Be Limited to Less Than Two.

"These laws would apply to everyone except Hillary--in other words, the usual," said Fauci. "She's so gosh-darn dreamy, she can do whatever she wants!"

We've noticed.

ALSO BREAKING: After Anonymous Tip From Pay Phone Outside Chappaqua Wine and Liquors, Police Find Seth Rich Murder Weapon In Joe Biden's Trunk

"But...but...I don't even wear trunks," claimed Biden. "Ask any of these Secret Service gals--they'll vouch for me!"

Public Health Menace

Manufactured News Network: 
“Democracy Dies in Fresh Air and Sunshine. Everybody Knows That!”

It's Part of the Kink


BREAKING BREAKING NEWS:

Ace: GRENELL RELEASES LIST OF UNMASKERS--BIDEN UNMASKED

You can plainly see the discomfort in Flaming Skull's eyes

Biden Responds: "We had to wiretap General Flynn because 
Donald Trump told people to drink bleach and snort Lysol!"

Muh Science!-UPDATE: MNN BREAKING NEWS:

Federal Government To Hire 370 Million Contact Tracers

"Each American will be assigned to another American. And that American will be assigned to the first American," said Dr. J. Edgar Anecdotal Franken-Fauci, Director of the Wuhan Murder Hornet Lab. "That way, we can all keep an eye on each other. Accurate numbers are so important," he added and added. 

"We will also be requiring all restaurants to keep an Enemies List of suspects and their underworld contacts, aka; the people we used to call "customers" and "diners"--unless you are an Undocumented Guest here. In that case, make yourself at home," said Fauci. "Unfortunately, we need these harsh measures to combat the wave of Fake Whistleblowers sweeping the country."

"These restaurants will also be serving my new Wuhan Moo-Cow Vaccinated Milk
--only $1,000. per serving. You'll love it!"