MNN REPORTS: A SASSY NATION TALKS BACK

With your MNN Anchors Jim Panzee and Pat C. Pfallguy

* AS COMPENSATION FOR THE INDIGNITY OF HAVING TO ANSWER REPUBLICANS' QUESTIONS LIKE "HOW COULD YOU SHOOT PRESIDENT TRUMP?" AND DEMOCRATS' QUESTIONS LIKE "HOW COULD YOU MISS PRESIDENT TRUMP?", KIMBERLY "MACHINE GUN" CHEATLES WILL BE REWARDED WITH SEVERAL CUSHY FOUNDATION JOBS. 

SHE 'S SLATED TO JOIN THE BOARD OF THE NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR DEMOCRACY OUT OF THE BARREL OF A GUN. 

CHEATLES HAS ALSO BEEN AWARDED THE PRESTIGIOUS LEE SIRHAN HINCKLEY CHAIR AT THE PENN/BIDEN CENTER FOR SHOOTING YOUR OPPONENT IN THE FACE.

Pictured Here:
Cheatles inspects the bullet-proof chain-link fence she ordered installed at the Butler Fairgrounds

* CHRIS WRAY SAYS PRESIDENT TRUMP WAS ONLY STRUCK BY SHRAPNEL AND HE SHOULD KNOW SINCE THEY WERE HIS ASSASSINS.

“”Mumbles” Mueller! This is the real FBI! You’re surrounded! Come out with your hands up! And bring “Wise Guy” Weissman, “Stretch” Comey, “Mama’s Boy” McCabe and Chris “the Rat” Wray with you!”

* SCHUMER AND MCCONNELL CO-SPONSOR BIPARTISAN BILL TO PLACE BUTLER COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS ON THE NATIONAL REGISTER OF HISTORIC FEDERAL KILL BOXES 

* HOUSE APPROPRIATORS PANIC AFTER CONGRESSIONAL BUDGET OFFICE REPORTS THAT GOVERNMENT OUTLAYS SPENT ON INVESTIGATING, FRAMING, ARRESTING, TRYING, IMPEACHING, CENSORING, RAIDING, WIRETAPPING AND SHOOTING PRESIDENT TRUMP HAVE NOW EXCEEDED THE SERVICE ON THE NATIONAL DEBT.

REPUBLICANS VOW THEY COULD DO IT FOR HALF THE COST.

* KAMALA: "IN THE INTEREST OF EQUITY, I WILL KEEP ORANGE MAN IN PRISON PAST HIS RELEASE DATE, AS IS MY USUAL POLICY FOR MEN OF COLOR. I MEAN, SHOULD I BE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE INSTALLED AS YOUR NEXT PUPPET OF THE UNITED STATES BY THE SACRED VOTES OF THE AMERICAN INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY. "

FINALLY WE KNOW:
KEEPING OVERDUE PEOPLE IN JAIL IS THE SIGNIFIGANCE OF THE PASSAGE OF TIME!

* JILL BIDEN TO RELEASE NEW CHILDRENS' BOOK ENTITLED "THE EMPEROR HAS NO 5.56mm SHELL CASINGS--WHY DO YOU ASK?"

Pictured here:
Joey Bribes in better days before he was beaten half to death to force him to resign

Manufactured News Network: "We're Done Pretending We're Done Pretending!"