BREAKING...
* BIDEN QUITTING RACE
Aides Say He Will Be Told Any Day Now
Biden says He's Quitting to Spend More Time With His Chinese Owners, But They Don't Want Him, Either
* SINCE DEMOCRATS STOLE THE NOMINATION FROM BERNIE SANDERS TWICE, THE NOMINATION WILL GO TO KAMALA HARRIS
* KAMALA TO CHOOSE UNEMPLOYED MARKSMAN KIM CHEATLES AS VP SINCE CHEATLES IS MORE POPULAR
Campaign Slogan: "Harris/Cheatles: The Long-Shot Candidates!"
* HILLARY ENDORSES KAMALA, BY WHICH SHE MEANS "HILLARY"
* CIA TO ENTER TREATMENT FOR ASSASSINATION ADDICTION AFTER HITTING ROCK-BOTTOM WITH FAILED TRUMP ATTEMPT
"Hi--My Name is Langley and I'm a Coup-aholic"
* INTERNATIONAL CRISIS AVOIDED AS CHINA AGREES TO HIRE NEW PUPPET
MORE JOKES TO FOLLOW... Not Here; in the White House
UPDATED UPDATEY UPDATE:
* BIDEN SUSPENDS CAMPAIGN TO SPEND WHATEVER TIME HE HAS LEFT TAKING REMEDIAL MARKSMANSHIP CLASSES
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| "Pay me, bitche$." |
Manufactured News Network: "Remember, Folks; Democracy is a Threat to Democracy!"
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