MNN's Weakened Update

BREAKING…

51 CURRENT AND FORMER INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS SAY BIDEN HAS A SECRET “GET TOUGH” PLAN TO STOP CHINA

Under the Super-Secret Plan, Hunter Will Make Repeated Trips to Beijing to Take Bags Full of Cash Out of the Country until China is Bankrupted

Pictured here: Secret Agent Man Hunter Biden, heroically fighting Chinese Tyranny One Suitcase at a Time!

 * “ColdCaseJoe” 

* SCARBOROUGH’S DESK MAINTAINS INNOCENCE

“I Was Framed!”

Pictured here: Rep. Undiagnosed Heart Arrhythmia with his desk "Patsy"

BREAKING NOW... SHOCKING BOMBSHELL REVELATION: 

ZELENSKY WANTS MORE MONEY!!!

"Especially if Joe is going to call me 'Putin'." 

AND IN AGRICULTURE NEWS: 

* The Dept. of Agriculture has announced that in order to combat the CIA Food Shortage Operation, the deployed Chinese Troops posing as migrants will be stationed at the Chinese Military Bases posing as farms. 

Pictured here: #ActingPres. Jill Biden with Installed Farm Hand Joey Sling Blade

And in International News, French officials are reconsidering naming cathedrals "Ruin".

JUST IN:

2 Chronicles 20:20-37

Enemies Destroy Themselves

20 They rose early in the morning and went out to the wilderness of Tekoa; and when they went out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem: Put your trust in the Lord your God and you will endure. Put your trust in His prophets, and succeed.” 21 When he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who sang to the Lord and those who praised Him in holy attire, as they went out before the army and said, “Give thanks to the Lord, for His faithfulness is everlasting.” 22 When they began singing and praising, the Lord set ambushes against the sons of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; so they were struck down. 23 For the sons of Ammon and Moab rose up against the inhabitants of Mount Seir, completely destroying them; and when they had finished with the inhabitants of Seir, they helped to destroy one another.

* 51 CURRENT AND FORMER INTELLIGENCE OFFICIALS SAY "NEVERMIND": 

"YOU KNOW, COME TO THINK OF IT, HUNTER'S LAPTOP WAS REAL AFTER ALL. AND WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED TO FIND BRIBERY AND TREASON GOING ON IN HERE! JOE BIDEN MUST STEP DOWN AT ONCE SO WE CAN KEEP OUR VAST CRIMINAL EMPIRE FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY!"

In Other Gangland News, AT&T Says CYBER-Criminals Have Seized the Phone Records of Their 110 Million Customers

Fortunately, Police Have Cornered the Usual Suspects at Their Criminal Headquarters in Quantico, VA, Langley, VA and Bluffdale, Utah

Suspicious Capitaine sez: "Shocked, I tell you!"

Manufactured News Network: “Wherever Fine Senators are Bought and Sold!”